Teens and texting
I have a dilemma I have an 18 year old son that texts and drives constantly. The bigger problem is his father gave him the car and gives no consequences or in place safety measures . He lives with dad who will not co parent with me . Any suggestions before it’s too late ?
Carsafety 
Calico696 Call the police and give them his plate number, maybe a couple of tickets will cure him of this before he hurts someone.
Gman 
Bug3Bug3, I'm sure they didn't want to change the topic. They're asking about their own son. Always someone rearranging topics to their agenda.
Suspend his phone service. You may also look into getting an infotainment unit that allows for hands free messaging. Newer cars have it.
Hopeful 
Josh He might be 18..But I’m sure you are paying for his phone, phone service or his car insurance??? Take it all away!!! I hope he doesn’t learn the hard way, and drive down the street and text and slam into another car with a family in it!!!!! And kill someone!!!!
Havaclue 
iJay He's 18 and considered a man, even though he's technically a teen, which is tough. You never stop being a parent. He should know better. If he's not paying for the phone, shut it off. But he can also go get a cheap 'Trac Fone' and go from there and still do it. Someday he might hit a car with a family and kill people by texting. I'm sure you know this.
Question: How do you know he's texting and driving if you're not with him while he's driving? Is someone telling you? Are you assuming? Is he telling you he does?
What about Htown police who do it??? I was almost hit by 1, on a leasure phone call as i could see him smiling. Took a very wide turn off stiger and had to straighten out the car in the lane. Almost took my front end out. Pure craziness, this is what oue children see!!!
If you are serious.
I would suggest calling your police department and making an appointment to meet with the Chief of Police.
Meet with him/her-air your concerns- and ask for their input..
If you’re not satisfied with their suggested solutions- offer up your idea of giving them your son’s plate number, address and general schedule ( school, practice, work, etc.) so they may be on the lookout.
Personal appearances always have more impact than a phone call.
The Chief will be made aware that you are serious, proactive and very concerned.
After a couple of tickets, his auto insurance will go through the roof.
Maybe this will spur your ex into action.
Stymie 
Tracy 18. That is all that needs to be said.
Anything else said is emotional and flawed. Doesn't matter if it seems positive or constructive.
He is legally free to make his own choice to do whatever he wants given his age, while also legally be responsible for his actions.
If he won’t stop, call a cop. What else can you do, he’s 18. And if he smashes someone in town, how you gonna feel then?
Hopefully the cop will just give a visit and chat with the young man, pointing at his own eyes, then the kid, and doin his best Robert Dinero, “I got my eyes on you.” Crikey, we got 19 of them, I am sure at least one would want to stop a crime, prevent injury, before it happens.
Strangerdanger It's not that the parents are weak. This eighteen year old is routinely performing an illegal act that can easily get himself or others killed. Tell the police to keep a lookout for his vehicle and I hope he gets into enough legal trouble to put down the phone.
honestyseasy As in my previous post. I'd like to know how you know he's doing it. By seeing he is, hearing he is, is he boasting he is or has he gotten ticketed before???
The NJ aggressive driver hotline #77 allows you to report a driver who drives aggressively or is using a phone.
They'll get a nasty letter ( https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/3538061-State-Police-Distracted-Driving-Letter.html#document/p1 )in the mail and warn them of the punishment. Do this and let him believe people have seen and reported him. It's not a ticket and the lasting effects of it on his record and insurance and wallet, but may scare him.
alpha1beta This has become a real problem and innocent people are getting hurt or killed because someone is not paying attention to the road. I believe that if you are caught once you should get a substantial ticket. The second offense should be the same penalty as first offenders in a DWI situation. This will certainly curb this behavior.
JimT 18? On his own? His choice. His consequences.
18? Living home? His car, phone, and insurance, paid by parents? Treat him as you would a 14 year old. There’s not much difference, regarding critical thinking and common sense, anyway...depending on the “child”, of course.
The law? He’s on his own. Parents are there to help, if they choose. This whole texting whilst driving thing (regardless of age), has gotten so bad, I’m afraid to drive! Used to love it.
Guilty-Remnant Here you go. Make him watch. https://youtu.be/t7911kgJJZc
Don't use your ex's lack of coparenting as an excuse. You are both now separate parents, and approach things that way. Good luck to all of us!
maja2 do you have access to his phone? do you pay for it? then mandate he install an app that senses when he's in the car and auto replies to texts that he's driving and will respond later.
I would go down to the police station and explain the situation. I’m sure the police would cooperate and put a real scare into him.
My mom did that to me when I was an unruly teenager. It certainly worked.
Positive Yeah, do that... Install the App... Don’t call the police on him, and give them his license plate number... Don’t listen to a lot of what these people say.. Calling the police on him is totally ridiculous... Take the phone away, get the App... Do what ever it takes to stop him from texting and driving... Your his mom... You know what to do.......
So I guess we have to hire two more cops to watch this kid/adult texting....unbelievable that a parent would ask this question on this forum.
Happygirl I for one ,do not believe my tax dollars should be paying for police "to speak with this young man"....not their responsibility or any others but the young man himself .
steven Yeah, sometimes I think people just post these questions to see what people will say!!! I would never post this question!!! Is this even real...Lol
"Yeah, sometimes I think people just post these questions to see what people will say!!! I would never post this question!!! Is this even real...Lol"
Umm.... you did just say- about a legal adult- "Take the phone away, get the App... Do what ever it takes to stop him from texting and driving... Your his mom... You know what to do"
If she is paying the bill- turn it off.
Other than that, if he (or his father) pays the bill- guess what the mom can do about an 18 y/o? Nothing.
All she can & should do at best (if he is living at home) is say- texting while driving is not safe and I don't condone it. If you want to live in my house it will not be tolerated.
Other than that she can't do a thing to stop him.
And if she isn't prepared to stick to her guns and kick him out over it- then all this banter is pointless.
He is legally allowed to make his on bad choices and pay the consequences.
She is legally allowed to kick him out- which would be a consequence.
Other than that- welcome to the real world for BOTH of them.
Yeah, Josh... I know everything that I said..But thanks for reminding me.. Lol.. .. I’m sure she will do what is right for her son... I don’t think she will kick him out of the house though!! That’s a little extreme...Don’t ya think?
I just hope that he doesn’t learn his lesson the hard way!! And hurts or kills someone.. That’s all I’m saying.. And kids now a days at 18 years old still live at home, or go to college, that ther parents are paying for.. And Still pay for there phones and car insurance.... So when they are out of school, paying there own bills!! Then NO You can’t take there phone away!! But she can now, if he’s still living under her roof and she’s paying for everything!! Adult or not!!
18 but living at home, parent paying for food, spending money, car, etc. This is not an independent adult. If he was truly independent taking 0 assistance from the parents then it is another story.
Havaclue, her original post indicates that the boy lives with his father who is the one who pays for everything. She wields no power to threaten him with eviction or anything else you suggest.
ianimal Your right, he lives with his Dad!! Let the father handle the problems....All she can do is talk to her son about it.....I feel really bad for her.....
Unless the “kid” has his own source of income, a parent would never call the cops. His financial troubles would be the parents, as well. I know parents who bail out their 40 year old “kids”, LOL!
To all my Hackettstown Life friends. I feel so alone and powerless. I don’t pay for his phone. His father does. His father also owns and insures the car. So I am powerless to consequences .I will take ALL of your feedback. They are all great ideas. I’m going to follow your leads. Thank you everybody.
Dear Josh ,
My question is very real ., and no I didn’t just post it . My time is valuable to me . My life is ruined co-parenting with a ex husband that vas never involved until all the work was done . Now he wants to be the good guy and be our teens friend . It’s a nightmare Josh ,
At least would tell the kid - turn on your voice to text option so he is not typing out his texts. Dont think calling the cops on your kid is the way to go. imo
ru when the money stops bill paying things will change take away the car the insurance dis connect the phone easy as pie but the secret is don't give in
Caged Animal 
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