"Free-Range" Kids...
A couple in Maryland was investigated for child neglect for the heinous offense of allowing their children to play outside unsupervised... are you kidding me?
http://mashable.com/2015/03/04/free-range-parenting/
ianimal geesh - my parents would have been jailed for life--- of course times were very different back then
5catmom Yeah, back then the perverts combed the streets looking for kids. Now they stay inside and do it online. Kids are probably safer outside now than they've ever been... not that anyone would notice.
And here I thought you were starting a thread about the Free Ranging Children in the big box stores. The ones allowed to race through the stores screaming and pulling merchandise off the shelves. But I digress...
Rebecka Well, Rebecka, the kids gotta get their exercise and playtime in somewhere, and since outside is so fraught with danger these days . . . :-)
Aquarius I think I have heard it all now. The intrusion into people's personal lives, in the name of laws, in this Country is pathetic.
Everyone can look forward to generations of spineless, fearful, entitlement expecting etc. kids. Sadly, these are the "kids" that will one day be running this Country.
Calico696 OMG, I guess I'm guilty of this. I let my 9 year old out to play with the neighborhood kids all of the time. They only stay in the yards and around the houses. I had no idea I was being neglectful.
Jazzykatt "Kids are probably safer outside now than they've ever been... not that anyone would notice."
Come on ianimal, don't let data and facts get in the way of fear and emotion.
Mark Mc. "Everyone can look forward to generations of spineless, fearful, entitlement expecting etc. kids. Sadly, these are the "kids" that will one day be running this Country." - Calico
What I find the most sad is that it is my generation that is creating them. We weren't raised like that. How did we let that happen??
DAM GOVERNMENT needs to get into everything. Its getting out of control!
I agree Calico! My kids spent most of the day outside! Til this day they all prefer to be outside doing something.
Christine The government isn't doing this to us. The government didn't call the cops on these parents. We're doing it to ourselves.
My understanding is that the 6 year old kid was allowed to walk to the park and library more than a mile each way by herself. I agree that there are too many helicopter parents out there but this seems like questionable judgement on the parents part. A bit different then letting kids play unsupervised in the yard or even in the immediate neighborhood.
MommyinaGreenDress "of course times were very different back then"
I hear this all the time. Why? I don't see it, except for the today the first question asked when things go awry isn't "are you OK?", it's "Where's my lawyer?"
justintime "The government isn't doing this to us."
No? The courts support all this nonsense, and the legislature does it's part too to further entrench the "nanny" state. Red stickers on a license plate, for instance, don't exactly strike me as an intelligent solution to a problem.
Nope, JIT, the government is not doing this to us. We are doing it to ourselves and the courts, legislature, etc. are all a reflection of that.
No one would have called the cops about these children before we were a nation filled with paranoid helicopter parents who believe that there is danger lurking behind every corner. And push for new laws, stricter laws, etc., etc.
It's not the subject, but you give me another good example of how we are doing it to ourselves. The red stickers on the license plates didn't come from the government, either. It came from Kyleigh Birch's family, friends and others in the community pushing for it after her death in the accident.
BUT who put the laws through? The government! CPS should have just dismissed the call!
I walked home from kindergarten at 5 yrs old all by myself. No one ever called the police on my parents. The boy is 10 yrs old and the girl is 6 yrs old. Its not like they are toddlers. My children walked to and from school many times at that age.
"Nope, JIT, the government is not doing this to us. We are doing it to ourselves and the courts, legislature, etc. are all a reflection of that."
Yes, of course. Thanks for the clarification.
"BUT who put the laws through? The government!"
Just remember this next time you (in the figurative sense) go to the voting booth. You can't elect the same people over and over again and expect different results - that's the definition of insanity.
People complain about high taxes, nanny state, etc. (especially here) but in the 2013 - 2014 elections for NJ the incumbent win percentages (where incumbents were running) were 100% for U.S. Senator, 100% for U.S. Congress, 100% for State Senate, and 96% for General Assembly.
6 years old is too young to walk home alone. Its not the fact that you don't want your kids to be independent, its the whackos that are out there, that can harm them.
botheredbyuu2 Good point, BBY... you should probably put your 6-year olds under the bed in the root cellar so that they won't get hit by meteors flying through their bedroom windows either.
There are more idiot drivers in this area. My concern would be, them getting hit by a driver being stupid. I agree six years old is to young to be walking alone. Hell a school bus can't even drop them off without a parent being present. Stupid drivers, bums, stray dogs, abduction, lawyers, our poor kids. What a shame.
auntiel i don't think a 6 and a 10 year old should be at a park alone and then have the freedom to walk home.... maybe i'm the only one who sees it that way. and i am by no means saying you need to be a helicopter parent, but come on, that park is not in the people's back yard...something could happen while they are playing and i wouldn't trust them alone for fear someone would kidnap them. that's stupid parenting in my opinion and i'm glad they got called out on it. playing in the back yard or down the street with friends is one thing.. but at a park unattended is another.
Old School
Ollie "... in the root cellar" so they don't get hit by meteors...
I just nearly fell off my chair laughing. Another vote for best post by ianimal.
We're such a scared nation. Scared of the "big bad stranger." Do you all even know that in many other (first-world) countries "safety seals" do not exist? That's right. You buy vitamins, supplements, drinks, etc, all without a "safety seal." Because they're not *So Incredibly Paranoid* that the infamous bad stranger is going to slip poison into their vitamin E capsules or orange juice. This is just one small example, but one which illustrates very well, I think, of how mistrusting we have become of our fellow Americans. How very sad.
Fact:
Stranger Danger?
Of all children under age 5 murdered from 1976-2005 —
31% were killed by fathers
29% were killed by mothers
23% were killed by male acquaintances
7% were killed by other relatives
3% were killed by strangers
More statistics:
SO… WHY ARE WE SO WORRIED ABOUT CRIME?
CRIME DOWN, PERCEPTION OF CRIME UP:
“Take murder. The murder rate rose and fell over the 20th century, climbing to an early peak in 1933, then dropping sharply and staying low through the Depression, World War II, and into the 1960s. It rose to a record level in 1974, broke that record in 1980, and stayed prodigiously bloody through the early ’90s. This is when Bill Clinton boosted funding for local police forces, and police began experimenting with radical new approaches to policing, such as those employed in the so-called Boston Miracle. In 1994, the murder rate started to fall, and it’s been falling ever since. Rape, robbery, and aggravated assault have dropped along with it. Last year was no exception. According to preliminary FBI data, the murder rate dropped 10 percent from 2008 to 2009, robbery fell 6.5 percent, aggravated assault fell 3.2 percent, auto theft was down a whopping 18.7 percent.
But as the crime rate has dropped, Americans have missed the news. The number of people who told Gallup that crime is getting worse climbed to 74 percent last year, a figure higher than any year since the carnage of the early ’90s.”
http://www.freerangekids.com/crime-statistics/
The world is not as dangerous as people tend to believe. I would rather give my children freedom and the opportunity to grow and become independent than teach them that danger lurks around every corner.
Njchia A few months back, I was with a group of female friend, there was about 6 of us. Our ages range for mid 40's to 60's. Somehow the topic of "stranger danger" came up and we talked about some weird experiences we had as kids. Half of the ladies told of men they didn't know exposing themselves to them when they were kids. Most either rode their bikes or ran away and never told an adult.
Just pointing out that stuff has always happened, we just didn't hear about it or kids were afraid to talk about it. I don't think things have gotten any worse, we just have much more access to information now.
Lynnada I loved the South Park episode about this whole subject, here's a clip from it:
http://southpark.cc.com/clips/153605/no-child-is-safe
Phil D. The whole episode is much better:
http://anilinkz.tv/south-park-child-abduction-is-not-funny
GD Mongolians - always tearing down my city wall!
even if there are no strangers or people who want to harm the kids .... the fact is that the 6 or 10 year old could fall off the jungle gym at the park and break a bone, get a concussion, etc. now I know you all want to think your 6 and 10 year olds are doogie howsers and little einsteins but they are not equipped to deal with that kind of situation.... there are plenty of other ways to instill independence and trust in your kids but I still don't think this is the way at those ages. and maybe some of us don't trust complete strangers and I think that is a good thing... why would you trust your child's well being based on a notion that most of society is good. if those kids were part of the 3% statistic of abductions/murders how good of a parent would you feel then. i grew up in the 80s and at that time there were a lot of missing kids on milk cartons... maybe those awful pictures stuck with me. I'd rather be safe than sorry in this instance.
It's exactly right, that our perception of crime has increased, and that's what's different today from when a lot of us grew up.
I grew up in the 80s too but somehow those milk cartons didn't make the same impression on me. Of course when I was 10, I was out climbing trees with my siblings ages 8 and 6, unsupervised, and nothing untoward happened to any of us. Nor any of the neighborhood kids we were playing with. We did know a kid who broke his leg skiing, and one who broke a shoulder playing football, but it never occurred to anyone that they should stop the rest of us from doing these things.
And very sadly, a classmate of mine was murdered by her boyfriend, but it never occurred to anyone to restrict the rest of us from dating. Nor did it occur to the rest of us that we might also be murdered by our boyfriends.
I think we've lost a lot of perspective on these things.
Old school - I agree with you. Too young to be in park alone and walking home.
I really don't agree with this type of parenting as I feel like it's irresponsible, but that's these peoples' decisions/choices and not my own. I personally would want my children (especially at their ages) to be in a vicinity where I can at least see them from a distance. I wouldn't feel comfortable letting a 6 and a 10 year old (or younger) travel a mile or more away by themselves, and be okay with it. Sure, parents from the 70's or 80's allowed their children to do whatever, but that was 45-50 years ago and unfortunately things aren't the same as they were then.
If a ten year old is raised properly they are certainly equipped to deal with the situation. 10 years old is going into middle school, old enough to get a hunting license, they are going through puberty, they can cook, they can operate a motor boat. They are certainly capable of walking their 6 year old sibling home from the park, and in this day and age they likely have a cell phone and if someone gets too injured to walk home they can call for help. It's the thought of them being too young that holds them back and creates children who are not independent and competent enough to handle these things. My oldest is now 14. When he was at hatchery we walked to and from school together. We talked about the route. We let him take the lead. And then when we were confident he could make the trip we would let him walk home alone. The first time we would meet him half way, or watch from the front lawn to see him coming down the block, and over time as he proved himself capable he was given more freedom. Our job as parents is to create independent adults. This starts in childhood and each level of responsibility and independence is layered upon the one that came before it. It starts with letting your child play In the backyard while you sit on the deck, and then letting them play outside while you make dinner inside, and then letting them play at the playground while you watch from the bench, and then letting them walk half a block ahead of you, and slowly surely builds up over time.
Njchia - Must disagree. Raised properly? Really? My kids were raised properly and I wouldn't let them walk home alone at 10. Has nothing to do with how they are raised. Equipped to deal with a situation? Maybe a shoelace coming untied, but not some nut grabbing them off the street. And middle school?That all depends on what school district they go to. My 10 year old was in 5th grade and that was not middle school. It was grammar school. That really has nothing to do with whether they should be allowed to walk home alone at 10. Just saying!
These children are not walking home alone in the dark down crime riddled alleyways. There are crossing guards, there are other children walking home too. There are not nuts grabbing children off the street left and right. The world is simply not that dangerous, and it's really sad that you think the only thing they are capable of dealing with is an untied shoelace. And a 5th grader in grammar school, is headed to middle school the following year. Is there some sort of major leap that summer that suddenly makes them capable? If not the summer between fifth and sixth then when? Why would it be more acceptable for an 11 year old to walk home than a 10 year old? Obviously there are some kids that simply are not mature enough to walk home at 10, but parents should know their children before allowing it, and referring to the original post in this thread, no other parents should be calling the cops on a parent who deems their 10 year old to be mature enough because they do not know the steps the parents took that led up to it.
too many news reports about kids being followed, threatened, enticed................I have no memory of that when I was a kid. Sorry but I just don't think it's as safe out as it used to be - and I'm all for giving as much independence as possible to kids --- within reason...
I'm with you Aquarius and NJchia. 10 years old are old enough if they are raised properly to walk by themselves for a block. I personally know people who let them do that. We can't protect kids forever from everything. We got hurt while growing up. And lately the only children I know they broke some bones were supervised by adults. If you never ever been in Europe then please read about how they raise their kids. Sometimes I feel that the media is planting first class paranoia into people's brain...
iceflower 5 catmom. I think the kids are lot safer today than we were. I'm a lot more worried about what is going on online...
When I was in second grade, the same grade as my son is now, I would have to take the local
bus home by myself. No one batted an eye. I also remember taking the same local bus to school during a snowstorm then being told by a parent that I need to go home as school is closed. No offer for a ride of anything. I waited in the snow for bus. My parents were separated and my mom worked nights.
Blackcat Njchia and iceflower, excellent posts as well.
When my niece turned 9, my SIL got a full time job. At that time my niece walked home by herself and then stayed home by herself for about two hours until my SIL got home from work. Her parents knew she was mature enough to handle it. She also knew not to let anybody in the house or use anything other than the microwave if she wanted to make a snack. She's 23 now and she survived fine. She is an extremely independent young lady now who is graduating college in May.
2nd grade was when I was allowed to walk to and from school alone. I can't recall how old I was when I was allowed to stay home alone. But it couldn't have been much older than 9 or 10.
I'm with you 5catmom. Again, its not a matter of if the kid is mature enough or not, its the nuts out there you parents need to worry about. SMH!
Our middle school is 12-13 yrs old (grade 7&8) Thats a BIG difference then a 10 year old.
Calico - good thing DYFS didn't know. LOL!
My neighbor was a "helicopter" Mom who never let her child out alone. She even picked her up at lunchtime and dropped her off afterwards. Her daughter is now 32, has no job, and still lives with her parents. Njchia's approach makes way more sense!
Lady Jayne I couldn't stand after school care and my parents let me stay home alone when I turned 8. I was home alone from 2-5pm. They drilled the rules into me and I never broke them. And just to surprise everyone here....:)... In 3rd grade they offered first aid classes in the school for students who were interested. I took it. They called us "Little Health Helpers". They taught us how to handle bruises, cuts, taking care of wounds... how to seek for help and not panicking.
botheredbyuu2 what age do you think is appropriate? Some 10 year olds are pretty big. I could see the issue with 6 because some kids are very small at that age. But 10?! My kids started staying home alone and walking home from school at 10. They were more than capable of handling it. The middle school is almost half a mile from my place.
Social media is to blame for all this nonsense. You just didn't hear about things when we were kids, but kids got abducted and killed. Now you hear about every incident in every corner of the world with ease and it has made people paranoid. Your kid probably has a better chance of being eaten by a bear than getting kidnapped or killed walking home.
Metsman "Your kid probably has a better chance of being eaten by a bear than getting kidnapped or killed walking home."
Uh oh... NOW you've done it...
+1,000 Lady Jayne. The more you treat them like "helpless" children, they longer they will behave like "helpless" children.
I just thought of my first car and how much of a mess it was. The speedometer didn't work, the windshield had a crack and leaked when it rained, the seat belts didn't work etc. My parents never even batted an eye when I got into it and drove off. That bomb had the potential to break down anywhere and anytime. Oh and there were no cell phones then either. ;-)
Willow Grove School allows 3rd and 4th graders to ride bikes to school. 3rd graders are normally ~8 years old. I don't think the parents usually run or ride along side of them.
Joe M AGAIN, its not whether the kid is mature enough or big enough. Its the OTHER people. The NUTS! Is your big 10 year old going to fight off a bigger 40 year old. Doubt it.
Walking in groups makes more sense. Staying home with the doors locked is a whole different situation. A 10 yr old doesn't have the mind set of what to do if he is confronted with a situation like someone attacking him. I think a 12 year old does. JMO!
So...my curiosity is getting the better of me. For those of the posters that don't believe the 10 and 6 year old should walk alone to school or the park....would you also be the person that calls the authorities on them?
Tracy BBY, the FBI maintains crime statistics:
http://m.fbi.gov/# http://www.fbi.gov/stats-services/crimestats/
If you can show us the massive number of crimes committed by all the NUTS out there I think your view would have more credibility. Sure there are NUTS, but do we just stop living because of fear or do we make judgments based on unlikely scenarios?
The nuts that are most likely to harm your kids are your friends and family members, not some stranger.
Statistically yes animal, but there is always that rogue element and if your paths cross...
iJay There's a registered sex offender now living on Newburg Rd so this is also something to consider.
"There's a registered sex offender now living on Newburg Rd so this is also something to consider."
FYI the *vast* majority sex "offenses" involve personal relationships, not random strangers.
Oh ok. I guess that's a great statistic unless you child isn't part of that "vast majority sex offenses."
iJay, there's always a *rougue* element. Always has been, always will be.
The real difference today is that people are more scared, more afraid of the unknown where in the past risk was just accepted as part of being alive. If you think about it, it's odd because when it comes to the really dangerous activities we partake in, like driving a 4000 lb projectile down the road at 80 miles an hour, most people don't bat an eye.
Ollie, iAnimal is framing the discussion appropriately IMO, that it's people you *know* that are more likely to do these things, and your example validates it. I'm not saying it's right, just agreeing with iAnimal about the invalid context for many of our collective fears.
So it's different if a child is harmed by someone you may know versus someone you don't? I am far from ever haven been a helicopter parent. My kids are 34 and 36.Two weeks after my son was born Etan Patz was kidnapped walking down the street in NY for the first time alone going to school. Guess that's always stuck with me. We live 1/4 mile from a state park and there was not shot in hell I would have let them go there by themselves. Sad since I grew up and still live in the same house and as a kid had no fears of going there with my siblings. Just a sign of the times I guess. I don't think it has anything to do with raising your children right. That seemed to be an absurd statement.
But Ollie, nothing has changed since you were a child. Human nature is the same, and statistics do not agree with your perception of things.
There was a whole rant on FB with some people I know regarding the sex offender, who recently registered as living on Newburgh Rd. People trying to figure out how to run him out of town.
These people need to live somewhere when they are released. He spent 26 years in jail for his crimes. The parole board released him, saying that in their opinion he is fit to rejoin society.
Unless the law changes to life in prison without parole or death sentences for sex offenders, they will be released and live amongst us. So you have to deal with it.
Is there a statistic regarding if there are less sex offenses now that these individuals are required to register than there were years ago when they did not?
Its a combination of things like dual working, households, crime, entitlement, parent who should not have had children because they are too selfish to raise a child properly and use the TV as a babysitter and yes much to the chagrin of everyone the blasted Government.
CraftBeerBob one big difference between now and my youth is that there were neighbors home along the routes to school looking out for the neighborhood kids - I don't believe that is true anymore..........
I never suggested he be run out of town. Just be aware of what's around you. I disagree that nothing has changed since I was a child. Not that change is always a bad thing. But growing up now is not the same as it was 50 years ago.
My mother and father should have been in jail if these people committed a crime! Both my mom and dad worked and from the time I was in kindergarten I was on my own. Back then (early 60's) we had 1/2 day kindergarten, that switched from mornings for 1/2 year, then afternoons the other half.
When I was in the morning session I walked 3/4 mile home from school (around a lake!), made my own snack, watched tv, and went out to play -- basically kept myself busy and took care of myself until my mom got home at 5! That was from 12 in the afternoon till 5 pm; 5 hours alone at 6 years old. When I was in the afternoon session, I got myself up (had one of those round alarm clocks with the 2 bells on top), made my breakfast, packed my snack in my Bozo The Clown metal lunch box and walk myself to school. Half the kids I knew did the same.
By the time I was in 3rd grade I was responsible for starting dinner.
I just don't get why the parents of today are so un-trusting of their own kids and so paranoid about "strangers." I feel the more responsibility you give kids the more they step up and act responsible. The kids of today are treated like a bunch of glass dummies who wouldn't know what to do if a "stranger" offered them candy to get in a van.
Give me a break.
Heidi Calico, the article I read about the sex offender stated he was arrested as recently as 2013 for similar crimes. Does anyone know what the outcome of that arrest was?
I agree that people need to live somewhere, but I don't believe the person that commits these types of crimes can be rehabilitated.
No one wants to answer my question from last night, either, I see.
Tracy, I guess it would depend on the situation. Where I live I rarely see kids walk anywhere. The bus stops at every driveway and those who don't take the bus seem to have the parents drop them off. The line of cars going into a school near me in the morning is unreal. But if I did see a child around the age of 6 walking down the road alone you're darn right I'd call the police. It would seem to me to be negligent if I didn't. I figure if I've done it for dogs that get away from their owners I'd do it for a child.
I was born in West Caldwell and lived there until 2nd grade...I started walking to school with my sister when I was in Kindergarten, she was in 4th grade. Just Google map it so not to exaggerate. 0.6miles down Washington Ave. My mom was a stay at home mom at that time but had twin babies so it was easier for her to let us walk than to pack the 4 of us up for a 2min car ride.
So glad no one called the cops on us, I was 5 my sister was 9. '83 & '84
darwin "I agree that people need to live somewhere, but I don't believe the person that commits these types of crimes can be rehabilitated."
I don't necessarily disagree with you there Tracy. I kind of feel the same way about drug addicts. I was just stating, that the law is that it's up to the parole board. Sometimes we don't agree with the law or the rules.
"growing up now is not the same as it was 50 years ago."
True, it was probably somewhat odd back then for 30-year old "children" to still live at home with their parents. But I guess if you treat them like they're babies until they're teenagers, it's a logical conclusion...
Well said ianimal. That also reminds me of something else. When I turned 19 (already living on my own), I went off my dad's medical insurance that he had through the union he worked for. It probably wasn't until I was 22 or 23 until I got a job that provided me with medical benefits (the type of policy that you had to get hit by a bus or something to even get a payment). Anyway, neither of my parents expressed any concerns over the fact that I had no coverage. Now parents can keep their kids on their policies until 26 years old and after that can purchase dependent to 31 coverage.
Why are they doing this? Are so many young people that unhealthy that it will be a major hardship for them not to have medical insurance for a year or two? I work with a woman who has a 30 year old son who is still at home, without a job, and she's paying hundreds a month for him to have medical coverage. It just boggles my mind.
I do think it is the responsibility of society to ensure safety of our kids. I don't know that the parents of the kids in this situation should be in trouble- but what if there really was neglect going on and everyone around just ignored it? i personally would rather error on the side of caution.
"Are so many young people that unhealthy that it will be a major hardship for them not to have medical insurance for a year or two?"
I don't know that it has to do with them being overly unhealthy, per se, but if they break their leg or blow out a knee, it will definitely be a major hardship. Have you seen what doctors and hospitals charge people without insurance?
Plus, isn't it illegal, for all intents and purposes, not to have health insurance now (i.e., if you don't have it, you have to pay a "fine" on your taxes)?
What does being 30 and living at home have to do with it? Let you're kids go anywhere they want and they will become responsible adults? I think there are greater factors than that. I think there are plenty of adult kids who were not raised as babies and unfortunately still have to live at home. Not getting the "logical conclusion"
As far as medical insurance all we had when I was raising my kids was hospitalization and all dr visits were paid out of pocket. No co-pay nonsense. Much more affordable than what we are all experiencing now. Unfortunately we are all scared to death at this point to not be covered by some form of insurance. It can be a frightening thing in this day and age. So yes, some things are not the same as they were 50 yrs ago. Some for the better and some not.
I had an acquaintance who was without insurance in her early 20s. She got in an accident and racked up $100k in medical bills, including a surgery. If she had opted not to have the surgery, she would have lost use of her hand.
Odds are, most people can get by without having insurance and won't rack up medical bills. But there are definitely cases where it has screwed people over.
MB http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/10-year-old-saves-sister-from-abduction-by-sex-offender/ar-AA9sQ37?ocid=mailsignout
I'm rethinking my opinion on this subject after reading this.
botheredbyuu2 you really think a 12 year old could fare better against a 40 year old? You're just paranoid. It's not like we live in the Bronx.
Far from paranoid, Metsman. Yes, I think they can. Their mind is more mature then a 10 yr old. Can handle things better. Keep living with your eyes closed. You have the "it can't happen here" mindset. Not good.
Kids these days are overweight, some obese and just sit in front of the computer/tv or play video games all day. I feel that if it's within reasonable walking distance, kids should be walking to school. This is good exercise. Also, let children walk to the park to play...let them again, get exercise and run and play. Of course, not to be supervised too young. I think the MD story of the 10 and 6 year old walking to the park is fine and am astonished to see them getting in trouble. God forbid an older child has to walk 2 blocks to school in the rain or snow. I used to walk 3/4" of a mile to elementary school. Remember, golashes, and raincoats?
villani Here you go bby2... This 10 year old kicked butt!
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/10-year-old-saves-sister-from-abduction-by-sex-offender/ar-AA9sQ37?ocid=iehp
An interesting discussion, but unfortunately this insanity is here to stay! The majority parents today are extremely paranoid and overly protective. I'm not taking sides here, just stating the facts. The helicopter parent is here to stay!! I know of parents that even feel the need to control their kids that are away at college! I wonder if they'll continue their oversight when the kids graduate college and start their career. Maybe employers should be required to provide an adjacent desk for mommy!
ScreamingButterfly I read an article recently (I'll try to dig it up), where the parent actually went to a job interview with their "child" after college graduation. Stop the madness!!!
It's sad to say but I have parents coming in to give me their kid's resume when applying for jobs at my company. I honestly don't even glance at the resume. If a person cannot go into an office building and hand in their own resume, we don't want to hire them.
As a property manager, I can't tell you how many times I get calls from parents asking about available apartments for their "children." Keep in mind these "children" are sometimes as old as 35. I have even had parents come (without their "child") to look at the apartment because their "child" was "too busy."
You mean too lazy.
geepers - I don't know who you all know - because all the "young" people I know are out on their own including my 4 nephews in their 20's-30's..............It is an assumption and expectation that, after college, you get on with your life..........yes your parents will be there to support - encourage - suggest - but they will not be allowing you to stay with them living off of them..................
Ms Fishy Quite common behavior in other countries, just shows you were this country is going. They quote high levels of employment but working at Starbucks it is tough to pay the bills. There are fields like IT where their is hiring, but I will tell you from my experience that we are picky and will rather leave a position open for 6 months or more than hire a candidate that doesn't have the skills/attitude. We expect the new hire that more often has a Masters degree than a Bachelors these days to be professional from day one, no time for lazy kids...
There is an excellent book I read about a year ago called Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker. I will include the link below. the author is a highly regarded security expert and the book contains a ton of information on actual cases, statistics, and things you can and should be teaching your child. I purchased the book because I am (admittedly) a bit of a helicopter parent. I have ONE child that I waited a long time to have and I'm also an anxious person by nature. Would I personally let a 10 year old and 6 year walk to the park alone? No. That's me though. I have several friends that are perfectly ok with it. I base my decision on MY child, MY past experiences, MY situational awareness and MY comfort level. This is what works for ME. I think at the end of the day you really have to do what works for you and your family and if you are doing the best you can, then that is enough. If someone called the police to do a safety check, then I don't think that's bad either. Be happy someone is looking out for your kid. Do I think these parents should be facing charges? Unless they are breaking the law, then no.
Antimony Excellent resource for any caregiver.
http://www.amazon.com/Protecting-Gift-Keeping-Children-Teenagers/dp/0440509009
Sorry, but I totally disagree with Antimony. The whole "I base my decision on MY child, MY past experiences, MY situational awareness and MY comfort level. This is what works for ME. Is exactly what's wrong with parents today. It's all ME, ME, ME.
The parents years ago let their kids be THEMSELVES. They let them explore and find themselves. They gave THEM responsibility and showed trust in THEM. They taught THEM how to respond in an emergency and I thing my generation and the one's before me produced thinkers and doers as opposed to the young adults of today.
I had someone just yesterday, in speaking about her 19 year old son, say to me that even though she was 19 and her husband was 20 when they married 26 years ago, she said, "I couldn't even imagine my son getting married at 19 like me and my husband, he can't even make himself a full cooked meal or do laundry properly!"
Who's fault is that? Hers. She did it all for him, and now he can't do it for himself.
Heidi, there are plenty of parents that still raise their children with those values. It's all a matter of personal choice if you would allow your 6 and 10 year to walk home a mile from the park. And I would imagine some of that choice is based on someone's past experiences in life. I don't see it as back and white.
I think every parent is different and every child is different. I'm certainly not going to base my parenting decisions on what other people think is right or wrong. That makes zero sense. I'm 100% in favor of teaching the kids to do the right thing, ask the right questions, and whatnot. That said, I do have more experience than my child, I do have more situational awareness, and at the end of the day, I have to live with the decisions I make, the things I teach, etc... I think the case in which a 19 year cannot cook or clean for themselves is a poor comparison. That child should know those things. You can't compare a 19 year old to a 6 or 10 year old.
You never know what the day will bring:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/midday-kidnapping-attempt-caught-tape-small-town-29532875
Would I have called police if I saw a 10 yo & a 6 yo walking alone? No. I would have said hello, asked them if they were ok and kept an eye on them as long as I could. Even 40 years ago, when that sibling walk was normal, we were very aware that there were creepy strangers who snatched kids.
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