Anyone hold their child back from kindergarten?
My preschool has informed me that my child isn't mature enough for kindergarten this coming fall. That's fine, I agree but my question is: Is this ok? He will be five in March. What happens? I know registration is coming up. Thank you in advance for any advice :)
Mom I'd speak to a school social worker about your options. I'm sure they've dealt with many similar cases (as far as holding children back and forming individual education plans ("IEPs")
SomeoneHolding a child out of kindergarten is a big decision. My daughter and son-in-law did it for my oldest grandson. He is a December birthday, so he was always one of the oldest in his class. But it was the best decision they could have made. He is just an average student now, but he is not struggling they way he would have a year earlier.
As for registration, I think I would call and speak to someone regarding your decision, but the law states that a child must be in first grade by the age of 7. What you do before that is solely your choice. There is no law enforcing mandatory kindergarten.
Tanya It's absolutely okay, especially if you agree with the recommendation. I know of several people that did not hold theirs out and eventually regretted it. I also know several that did hold theirs out and none of them have any regrets. As a parent, I say follow your gut on this one.
You can contact the school about registration, or you can just choose not to register him. For all they know, you have enrolled him in a private kindergarten.
Does your daycare have a kindergarten program? One of my friends knew she was going to keep her son out an extra year, but enrolled him in the private kindergarten at her daycare. This way he would be exposed to the acedemics and more prepared the following year when she enrolled him in public kindergarten. It also gave her an extra year, so if he had miraculous maturity growth, she could enroll him directly into 1st grade. Alas, he did not have such growth and is now happily in public kindergarten and has no idea his path was any different than his peers.
You have the freedom to do what you think is best for your child form one more year.
bac Tanya,
Where did your grandson go to school that his parents chose to hold him out a year? I know that throughout most of NJ any child not 5 by Oct 1st has no choice (other than attending a private school) but to be held out a year. My son has a November birthday and I'm grateful for the extra year off he had. I didn't enjoy an extra year of paying for childcare and pre-school, but it did him a world of good. I always thought he'd be one of the oldest in his class, but there are plenty of kids older than him, many of whom were held out an extra year by choice. I think it's the right thing to do if a child isn't ready. There's no point in setting them up for a struggle just because they're old enough to go to school...
Lori...since '73 I don't agree with holding your kid back in anyway.
My son's birthday is August 12th. He was one of the youngest kids in his class. He didn't go to daycare and spent all day with my wife. He did have his older sister at home to socialize with daily and cousins at family gatherings.
When he started kindergarten, it was a very, very tough transition for him. He knew the basics that all kids at that age should know but had trouble executing more than one instruction at a time. His teacher actually suggested that he was not ready and that he be moved back to the pre-K class. NOT AN OPTION in my book. During every conference, I asked the teacher, "what else can we do to keep him on target?" I made it clear that we were committed to him and that I expected the teacher to be the same.
By mid-year, he had acclimated to the class and caught up with all of the kids that had had preschool. It required a lot of extra time with him on the part of his teacher and us, the parents. By first grade, he was reading at an advanced 2nd grade level. He had excelled above most of his peers in math and was considered a top student.
I am proud of my son and HIS achievements. He's in 5th grade now and has straight A's (many were A+'s.) He would not be where he is today if everyone (parents and teachers) gave up on him and took the easy way out (and yes, I think it's the easy way out.) I recognize that that may be offensive to some but it's our job as parents and educators to work with each child to do what is necessary for them to succeed. To not even try is admitting failure from the start.
emaxxman I did because my son was simply not ready to move forward and my fear was that he would be promoted into first grade not understanding kindergarten which could have had him behind the 8 ball throughout his schooling. No regrets at all. Of course the school argued with me prob because it doesnt look so good on their record but oh well, its my sons education! He is 18 now and ready to graduate HS this year : )
Thank you everyone for your comments, I appreciate it.
I'm actually leaning the other way now due to talking to the pediatrician. I will do some research along with getting some work books to help him along and hopefully bring up to speed.
Thanks again :)
I agree with most of the points made above.
As a retired teacher with 33 years of experience in Kindergarten and First Grade, I have never had a parent tell me they regretted holding their child back either before Kindergarten or after completing K. It pays off big time later in their schooling, especially in junior high school when they are more settled and capable of fending off peer pressure and continues throughout their high school years in a more mature outlook on their future
and potential in getting scholarships. Don't under estimate the benefits of this decision.
it could be one of the most important decisions you will make on your child's behalf.Your school will walk you through the process. Just ask.
Caged Animal Sometimes preschools are trying to squeeze another year out of you, not always but it happens
Good for you and your son emaxx. I disagree though, it is not the right decision for every child, they all develop differently and it has nothing to do with the easy way out. I know of 2 particular situations where the parents did not hold them back even though they were very immature for their age. They are both now high school graduates, but really struggled in 7-12th grades. Both of their parents (they do not know each other) wish they had given their sons one more year to mature and develop. Some just need a push and support, others need so much more. A parent needs to educate themselves and then trust their instincts when it comes to this decision. Not all decisions are one size fits all.
Hmm. I was thinking what Hm stated.
Anyway, my sister did it for her October babies. More to give them an edge too I think. In the end, with moving, they got booted ahead a class and wound up where they should be. Just the natural way of things for the most part. All of her kids are smart.
Is your child immature or not as smart as his peers? (Don't mean that harshly, just want to clarify a point) If your child is immature, he needs to be introduced to an environment where he can have a chance to mature, i.e., not his current preschool. He'll be 5 and hanging out with 3 and 4 year olds. Kindergarten would help that situation. If he knows the alphabet and basic numbers that the school requires, I would send him. If he needs to repeat kindergarten, so what? The other parents won't be talking about you behind your back on the playground. It happens. If you think he will struggle academically, I would discuss that with the school when they test him at registration. You would be surpised what extra academic help at home can do if you have the passion to do it with him.
Also, economically, you will basically be spending at least an extra $20,00 or so to raise him an additional year :)
maja My birthday is in Aug and I know for a fact that if I have an Aug-Oct kid I will be holding them another year without a doubt!!!!
I still to this day wish my parents did it for me. It was a real self esteem killer to always be behind everyone else. I remember never being in the highest level reading class, always being taken out of class for tutoring, always being one of the last to finish on tests.
Nosila It seems awfully early for the preschool to be telling you now that your child won't be ready for kindergarten in September. That's 9 months away, and so much can change with a young child (maturity, etc.) in those 9 months.
Don't worry about registration happening soon. Schools have to take the child no matter when you register, so don't feel like you have to make a final determination this far out.
Moeno As a first grade teacher, and mom of someone who held her August child a year, I would tell you to really think about holding him a year. I simply did not register him for Kindergarten and waited a year. Academically he was fine, but emotionally and socially, he fit in better with the younger class. He is right where he should be not at the top and not at the bottom. He would have struggled and hated school if I would have sent him just because the state said I could.
For your son, I would look to see where he fit, talk again to his current teacher and maybe even speak to the school where he would go. Good luck! As you can see there are lots of opinions , but trust you gut.
I held mine @MOM, sorry, I didn't see your comment about how you are already going to help your son with workbooks. Good for you. My son's kindergarten teacher didn't think he was smart enough for a regular reading class in 1st grade. I found that out when he started 1st grade. It took me less than a week to teach him to read and he was kicked out of the extra help class. He always did well in school and remains an avid reader. And, he was not the most mature kid in kindergarten. February baby. Basically a low 90's student all through school. He is very mature for early 20's. I call him an old soul now.
@Nosila, you are not really going to hold back a child you haven't even met yet. He/she could be brilliant and have incredible self-esteem. Maybe one exclamation point would have done it :)
Maja- As for living through it myself the more than one !!!! was needed
What harm would holding a child back a year??? I only know of benefits of doing so
Much more harm could be done by sending too early.
Nosila,
I too should have been held out a year. Fellow August baby here, one of the youngest, and a very poor student. My son and I are very much alike personality-wise, but academically he is way ahead of where I was at his age, even older in fact...
It goes both ways. A smart child who is held back and is bored is just as wronged as a child who was sent to school too early. Maybe more so. The struggling child can repeat a grade. Most schools won't let a child skip a grade.
Maja- Sorry I have to disagree with you as I lived through this personally
Having a child repeat a grade will forever effect their self esteem. Also, don't they have the "No Child Left Behind" program now so they just keep pushing a struggling child through.
I also don't think it has to do with academics but also maturity.
As far as being bored I know all the schools I went to had "gifted" programs for children who were over achievers. Yeah, that was great watching all your friends go to the "gifted" programs as you got pulled out for tutoring.
Having three November kids, I have no choice. Anyway, I think if the child is not ready then don't send them. It would be harder for a child to be held back after starting school and be removed from the kids he was already with.
Mommyof3 Okay Mommyof3 - 3 Nov babies...who has the Feb birthday or is it the anniversary....Wait I know Valentine's Day LOL...
Only the parent knows the child in and out. GO with your gut. Better to be the oldest than the youngest and in the long run no one will remember.
Firefly This definitely is a case by case decision. I was an October baby but my parents were told not to keep me in preschool but to put me in Kindergarten when I 4 (turning 5 that October). My parents had to send me to private school for this since my birthday was past the cut-off by a few days. It was a good decision for me, as I always did well in school. Sure I was the last of my friends to get my driver's license or be able to drink legally, but it really wasn't a big deal.
My younger daughter is an early September baby, and when she was born I of course wondered what we'd do for her. But once it was time to start thinking about it, the choice was clear. She was ready! Plus she is on the tall side for her age, so holding her back would really make her tall compared to the rest of her peers. Not always preferable for a girl. So she entered Kindergarten this year, turning 5 literally the weekend before school started. It was a great decision for her, as she is loving it!
There are several of my friends whose sons are the same age, but have decided to wait a year for various reasons. And that was the right decision for them!
Jersey Girl Thanks for all the different view points. We need to really think about this and contact the school as well. Thanks again and please keep them coming. I know a lot can happen in nine months and am hoping the maturity will develop, in the meantime we will work with him. Just one thing thing that really concerns me is I will go over letters such as his name and literally two minutes later...forgets.
I have to admit I was going thru the same struggles and questions a year ago. My son turned 5 in early Sept. His preschool always moved him up with the older kids. He's also tall for his age. He couldn't wait to go to kindergarten. I thought he was ready and we decided to send him and not hold him back. The school even does the assessments and I didn't hear any results, so I assumed they would have let me know if they felt he wasn't ready. But now, sporadically, since the second day of school, I have been receiving notes home from his kindergarten teacher, either about his behavior (lack of maturity) or work that he is struggling with. Just this week I had a meeting with the principal and his teacher discussing the possibility of having him repeat kindergarten. I was in tears, as I feel that it's my fault because I made the wrong decision by not holding him back. After a long day at school, I work with him every evening when I feel he should be playing and the teacher is putting extra time in with him. He's only 5 and I feel like now I'm pushing him. He is inconsistent also, as one day he can get it all, and the next look at you like he's never seen the word or number before!. And now I'm struggling with what will happen if he is held back, how will this affect him emotionally? I'm hoping things will click over the next couple of months...
I feel for you and good luck in making your decision. You're definitely not alone...
kak My little one is a September birthday. I am an early childhood educator. This is my plan:
He will be in preschool at 3 and at 4. I will enroll him in a private kindergarten the September he turns five. After that we will make the decision whether to move him on to 1st grade or repeat kindergarten in the public school. I will not enroll him in public school kindergarten off the bat because I don't want him to have to repeat the same kindergarten with the same curriculum two times. I don't want him to watch all his friends move on and him to stay behind. If he repeats kindergarten it will be a whole new experience the second time around since he will be switching from one school to another.
Njchia Well all fantastic points made by all -- I come from both sides of the coin on this one --- I'm a December baby and the caboose (last of 4 kids) --- for some reason (I never asked) my mom had me start school early and THEN had me skip a grade --- making me 16 when I graduated HS --- to say I HATED it is in understatement --- I'm convinced she had me move ahead so that I was out of HS at the same time as my brother and she could move on with her life!
I also have a son who is a Nov baby --- he did some preschool and started Kindergarten when he wasn't even close to ready -- by January I pulled him out.... As chance would happen I ended up moving so he re-started Kindergarten in the new town (whew) --- Anyway he HATED school all the way --- until he got to Hackettstown High and the block scheduling which suited him GREAT and he met some life-long friends (One is Christine's son)...
I would have to agree that it is definitely a case by case basis, but I'd agree that you need to talk to the school and follow your 'gut' ---- That's what Emax did and it worked for them --- but your 'gut' is a great indicator, mostly because you know your own kid best! On the flip side, even though you think your son is not ready, the school has seen hundreds like him and will have the best advice on what to do.... I know in Hackettstown we have a few days in the Spring where kids come in for a Kindergarten class to 'test the waters' --- that should really give you and the school a good idea of where he's at.
Good Luck!!
trekster3 My Son's birthday is in mid September. I held him back from Kindergarten as well, he was academically ready but I too was told that maturity wise he might not be ready. So I choose not to push him into Kindergarten until the following year. Therefore He started Kindergarten when he was 6 years of age. He is now a Junior, and I do NOT REGRET my decision. I am confident that he has definitly been better off for it. Socially and Academically he is doing great, and he actually enjoys being the oldest one in his class. Recently he just got his Driver's license and was one of the first in his Class (and of his friends) to do so, which made him feel special. I think this is a personal decision, and there is no right or wrong, but as someone else mentioned, I have rarely heard anyone not pleased with the decision to wait that extra year in the long run.
Jean09 I had afew friends who had to make this choice. All the children involved where boys. And what it really comes down to is in what respect arent they ready? Is it socially or academically or both? the ones who academically we fine in class but socially not ready should be sent on to kindergarten. They will never grow socially if you hold them back.
Its the ones that academically werent there that were held back. I think its the simplest and best way to look at it.
Firefly - LOL the twins were neither! Brady was actually due in December but I had c/s 3 weeks before my due date and yes it was my anniversary LOL
I missed the cut off date and my mom had to wait a year. Over the years most of my friends ended up being in the class above me. I hated that I wasn't with them in class. I always felt like the baby of the group even though we were the same age. We moved multiple times and in one area my best friend was 1 day younger than me but she was a year a head of me in school. That school had a later cut off date. I think every kid is different. You are the only one that knows best for your child. I do like the idea of a private kindergarton so you don't have to hold them back.
Sunshine Where I went to school the cut-off was 12/31. I was born 12/21. I started school at 4 years old. For me it wasn't a problem at all. I was born to learn, and super independent from the get go. LOL They actually had to send me to first grade for reading when I was in kindergarten, second when I was in first and so on. I was light years ahead of the other kids. However, I was the youngest in my class all throughout my schooling, last to get my driver's license etc., which was kind of crummy but no big deal.
My brother was born 10/12 and also started school at 4 years old, for him it didn't work out so well and he was held back and had to do second grade twice. I believe each case it's different. As a parent, you should know your child better than anyone. Do what you think is right.
Calico696 I am a September baby and was only 17 when I graduated high school. I had zero academic issues, but I did struggle socially. I don't know if being held back would have helped me at all. I was a bit of an eccentric kid so most likely the answer is no.
My daughter is just 5 days short of the cut off and will be one of the oldest in her class. I have given this a LOT of thought and have consulted with professionals on the matter as well. Right now the consenus is that academically she is SO ready - emotionally not so much. She will be starting pre-K this year and I already have concerns about her in a more social setting. I will just have to wait and see.
Each kid is different and that is really the only answer to your question. Let us know how it all works out!
Antimony I don't know if the schools pass or fail children in school anymore but if they still do..I would much rather have my child wait and start school when they are academically and emotionally ready than to have them fail a grade and have to repeat it the next year while their fellow classmates go on to the next grade.
joyful Delay your child and the best outcome possible is that they are in kindergarten next year.
Start your child and the worst outcome possible is that they are in kindergarten next year.
Every child will have some sort of challenge at some point. Unless the child has a diagnosed learning disability, I simply don't understand holding a kid back. How do you explain to your kid why they aren't going to school when their pre-K friends are?
Then again, I don't understand the parents who request a specific teacher for their kid...or the worst example, a parent told their 8th grader not to take Algebra (usually a 9th grade class) because it would mess up their middle school grade point average.
My son was born in August and he is now 20! When I look back, I think I really should have held him back one year. Probably would of been a good idea. Some kids just dont mature as fast as others. I see nothing wrong with holding them back a year, if needed. Good luck!
mona Our son is turning 5 early in september. He has been in school with kids who are starting kindergarten and this past fall we enrolled him in Pre-k -K Soccer with kids who were older than him. I forget who said this to me, but they said the best way to tell if your kid is ready for Kindergarten is by looking who he gravitates too. Does he interact more with kids younger than him, or kids his age and older. I think if we held our son back, he'd assimilate to the kids who were now a yr younger than him and really don't think he'd get much from another year of pre-k. As parents we want to do what is best for our kids, so i think this decision is one we don't take lightly, and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do the right thing, but i think our children will acclimate to the environment they are put in.
CMON Hi again everyone, thanks so much for all the comments, I really appreciate them!
It so happens that I have the kids home sick today. While we have been resting I've been working with my little one. Just going over letters and name which is what I was told there was an issue with and he seems to have no problems today. We will see what tomorrow brings & if a memory lapse occurs overnight.
Thanks again :)
Mom - The other thing my wife and i did was switch his pre-school this past August. We didn't feel like he was getting anything at his old school, and since we have changed we have seen HUGE improvements. In August he wasn't writing, but now he is writing most of his letters and numbers, including his name. They are working on a lot of different things such as Spanish, Reading etc... and it blows away anything he got in Pre-K (3's).
My DD was born Sept 1 and I struggled with this decision. Maturity was she was sooo ready. Til this day she is very mature. But scholastically she was a little behind. In the end we sent her and she is a good student. Honor roll but she does struggle in math. She is not in AP classes but has some honor classes. I am happy where she is and with my decision.
Christine Lori... He is a December birthday, so he would have been almost 6 before he was eligible for kindergarten, but his parents chose to hold him out an extra year at that point. He was an extremely premature birth and although was doing well, he was developmentally immature, both academically and socially. He started Kindergarten the September before he turned 7 and is now 15. Holding him out that extra year was the best decision his parents could have made for him. This decision was arrived at after several meetings and evaluations with the school child study team. It was definitely not an easy decision to make. By the way, it is not a school in N.J.
emaxxman, I'm so glad that your decision worked well for you and your son. It's wonderful when our kids are able to be successful-in school, in co-curricular activities, in life. But there is one universal truth, and that is that what works for one child and his/her family, might not work for another.
I've been in the field of early education. I've seen some kids who have gone to kindergarten the first year they were age-eligible, and they've been wonderfully happy, successful kids.
I've also seen some kids who have gone to kindergarten the first year they were age-eligible, and they've struggled, either socially, emotionally, or academically.
I've seen some kids who have been held out that extra year so that they wouldn't be the youngest in their class, and it did wonders for them and their self-confidence. When they reached kindergarten, they were wonderfully happy, successful kids.
What I can say is that I've never heard a parent say they regretted that extra year of letting their little one be a little kid before moving into school and the attendant pressures that school can bring. (That's not to say that there aren't parents who held their kids out and then were sorry....just that I haven't heard that.)
A parent knows their child, and that parent is, in the end, the one that needs to make a decision that is in their little one's best interest. The decision should be based on a variety of factors: parent's instinct (most important) and input from other objective sources: teachers, pediatricians, etc.
Arguments like "what do you tell your kid when all of their other friends are going to kindergarten and they're not" should not, in my humble opinion, be a factor. Because as a parent, the only correct answer is "Daddy and I decided that you'll start kindergarten next year. But now, you're going to Miss ***** class, where you'll have so much to do!" And then the next year....all of the kids in their (new) pre-K class WILL be going to kindergarten together.
Original poster....my advice? Register your son for kindergarten. Look for other early childhood (pre-K) programs that fit your philosophy and what you're looking for to help him grow and enroll him. If you decide that he is indeed ready for kindergarten, send him. If you decide not to send him to Kindergarten, he'll go to his new class (or new school) and start kindergarten the next year.
I know this was long.....but good luck to you.
A&W My son turned 5 in October and I enrolled him in kindergarten. What a big mistake! As far as the work was concerned he did fine. The problem was that every kid in his class was held back a year and he was being compared to kids who were a year + older than him. So of course he was immature compared to them.
It was a constant struggle for him.
When we moved I held him back a year and have been happy ever since.
I highly recommend you hold him back a year.
nutty1019 Fortunately I did not have to make the decision, as my now adult son just missed the cut off date.
He would have been too immature and it would have been a struggle for him.
When he did go, he still had to work hard to get A's and B's.
He remained a "plugger", voluntarily giving up activities to get his work done.
This has served him well, he graduated college and was hired by the company he had interned with for 2 summers.
On the other hand his sister breezed thru school, everything being too easy.
She was very involved in activities, but again, she did not have to deveop that drive.
Serious problems arose, we are lucky she is alive and well. I would have rather she had to work for things, rather then almost losing her.
grateful mom exmann---why were you so bent on having him stay in K? It was really your own emotional issue, not your childs. There is no reason to push a child into school before they are ready and there have been much written on the benefit of holding boys back so they are on the older side of the class versus the youngest. Not all boys fit that mold of course. Seems a shame you pushed your own agenda on your child...........but glad to hear you say he's doing well now.
curlygirl Wow, this was a hot topic. My children are out of school now, but I had many friend's that held their son's (mostly) back and none of them regretted it. It is always to an advantage for, a boy especially, to be bigger, faster, more mature and ready to sit still.
My one girlfriend held all three of her son's back and she was happy to do it, she felt boys are not as ready to sit and focus for long periods of time at the age of 5 and 6, something to do with their eye development. They have all done well, none have been scarred by it, ha ha.
s.l.m. curlygirl --- I'll speak for emaxx --- they totally made the right call since they know their son best --- he's a top performer in his grade and is absolutely delightful - one of my fave kids, can't listen to Train without thinking of him : ) --- Anyway, I can attest that they are fantastic parents and I don't recall their son having any difficulty, they gave him all the tools to be able to succeed and were willing to do what needed to be done --- and it wasn't pushing him, it's keeping him at his grade level.... that's a completely different outlook --- if they were having him attend school early (like my mom did), now that would be pushing....
Both of my kids are september babies, my son who is my first, shouldve honestly stayed back in kindergarten. However my daughter is much younger and I may consider putting her in at 4 turning 5 because shes around her older brother all the time and picks up things off his very easily. BUT she is only 2, things could change until then.
icicle Thanks Trekster...that's very nice and kind of you.
curlygirl - I hear what you're saying but as trekster stated, it wasn't an agenda. I wasn't asking him to do something beyond the abilities of 5 year olds.
My viewpoint was more of, "are we, his parents, not even going to give him a chance to try and prove himself and instead assume he can't?"
Lastly, assuming it was an agenda, who's agenda should a child be challenged with? Is it not a parent's responsibility to set the goals our children should strive for? If I followed the teacher's advice, whose agenda would we be following?
For all kids to be on "fair" playing ground, the state should have a uniform date..ie child must be 5 by Aug. 31 and must be enrolled in k by then unless dr can state reasons why.
my cousin kept her son back a year bc he was so small. well guess what? he's the oldest now and the smallest.
its not fair for the kids who are meant to be in kindergarten to be there with kids who should be in 1st grade.
nutty I had that option with my son in 1st grade and i refused. I must say i regret it. I was told he was not mature and a little behind and if he was held back he could most likey catch up and he is also one year younger then most of the kids in his class. I did regret it and saw the struggle. He is in 7th grade now and is much better ,but i always felt i should have done it. Good luck to you!
luvjazz My son has an August B'day. He had no problem acedemically but at the time he was emotionally not ready for Kindergarten. We held him back - best thing we ever did. The extra year gave him time to adjust and mature. He ranks now above the 95th percentile and breezes thru school.
If you can handle it at home, I would not force that child ahead before he is ready.
is a kid born on Sept 29 really that much more mature and ready to go to school than one born on Oct 6?....nobody knows, the parents should know if the kid is ready or not.
My daughter went in at 4 almost 5 (she was born late October), however I remember she took some kind of test or evaluation. She is now in 2nd, and she is fine so far. While in KG she was reading ahead of the class and now she still is. (I was a good reader in KG and 1st...but I dont read books anymore). I wasn't too sure if we should have waited or not, so we took the risk and said "if anything we can pull her back in the first couple of months". But then the teacher said that we had nothing to worry about....big relief.
My brother started early (born in Dec) and did HS in 3 years, so he started College at 16 (I think thats too early!) He has a Bachelors and is working on Masters...
I started at 5...and Also did HS in 3 years, I did well too.
None of us went to pre-school, hopefully my daughter will keep doing well and if not, I will not blame it on Kinder Garden.
I would say enroll your kid in KG, and monitor him very closely for the first couple of months. it is really up to you,wether you wait or not, if the kid does well you will take the credit, if he doesn't do that well you will blame yourself anyways for waiting or enrolling him early.
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