Long commute and hates job
Just curious how many people have a dreaded long commute to a job they hate and are only staying for a paycheck?
Skier 
HappyTeacher There really are no opportunities in Warren County other than public jobs. Morris county has jobs but nothing like in the 80s suburban boom. We are in an urban boom now and until Hackettstown becomes urban commutes will be generally long.
Getting back to the first post are you implying that if you had a short commute to a job you hate you would be ok? Don't quite but find a new job or move. Doing nothing over time is demoralizing. Take control of your life, do not be a passenger...
iJay Life is short! Follow your passion and find something that makes you feel like you’ve never worked a day in your life!
Biologist You make it sound like moving is easy. The cost of moving is prohibitive sometimes, hence why some people are stuck at jobs they'd rather not be at or living in areas they'd rather leave.
Harker I worked in town at a job that I almost had a nervous breakdown over. I quit but not before having a plan - went back to school and never looked back except to say, damn why didn’t I do that sooner? Eventually that job you hate will get to you. Make a plan and execute it. Might not be immediate but doing nothing is not an option. Good luck!
RAS Sounds like it's time to take a long, hard look at your life, your finances, and your long-term goals. We'd all like to be filthy rich and only to work when and where we want (if at all), but if you are that miserable, then you need to work on plans to change things. Continue your education, so you're more marketable. Look for a job closer to home. (Even if it pays less, you might save that much in commuter costs.) Look for another job with a long commute, but one that you won't mind as much and/or one that will give you some good experience to move on in another year or two. Look into all of your options to live elsewhere, even temporarily. Look into other commuting options (like carpooling). Look into ways to save money (or to make extra money on the side), so that you don't feel trapped in your current job.
It's not always easy, to make such major changes, but you always have options.
JerseyWolf I've been commuting 100 miles a day round trip for 14 years. And I'm dead effing tired.
MYD I think it also depends on if you want a job or career. As Jersey Wolf said it's time for a inventory of long term goals. The process sucks but a necessary evil...
CraftBeerBob I was commuting from Hackettstown to Passaic every single day, but moved to Hopatcong....so now I travel from there to Passaic every day. It is beyond exhausting and add in the traffic and accidents that ALWAYS happen from Mt.arlington to Parsippany East bound (or the 80/280 merge Westbound ) and it just makes the commute miserable. Sadly I have not been able to secure a job near my house. I have been doing this for 6 years.
sunshinenj There is no replacement for "quality of life", including money.
But simply "changing your life" or "moving" is much easier said than done.
In today's society, everyone owes on everything... house payment, property taxes, car payment, etc etc etc. Society has been designed in such a way that it is no longer normal in many parts of the country for a family to get by on 1 salary- both parents have to work- AND they owe on everything. It is a small minority who pays off their house early, or has the financial means to just "load up the truck and move to Bev-er-ly"
It's a sad state of affairs. Back in the 50's, it was predicted Americans would only have to work 30 hours a week. The prediction was not only wrong, but it went the other way: it's more like 50 nowadays, and ALOT more if you include some of the commutes involved.
My wife had a 4-hour (at least, usually 4.5- round-trip) commute to NYC, for 3 years. Luckily, her job changed and she's now back in NJ, with a 2-hour round trip. There's no replacing or making up for those hours lost, even with money. You only go around once, and once those hours and days and months of driving are gone, THEY'RE GONE. You can't get them back. You can't squeeze a lifetime of living happily into your retirement years.
But many have no choice, due to the "debt society" we live in. It's a very sad state of affairs.
JeffersonRepub I feel like everywhere in New Jersey is a horrid commute. I only go 25 miles and it still takes 45 minutes to an hour most days. It's ridiculous.
I'm at the point where I will not even entertain a job that's more than 30 miles away from my home. The traffic, the stress and the wear and tear on yourself and your vehicle with those long commutes is probably killing us.
With all that being said, I would be fine with a 20-30 minute commute (to some people that's a lot). I do like that downtime before starting my work day and after before going back to mommy mode, so I can decompress. As long as I'm not stuck behind the slowpokes.
Tracy I changed my work hours to 10-6 which made a big difference in my commute to Morris county.. I've been commutting to morris county for 14years. My husband works remote and travels a few times also off hours. That's how we made it work in order to live in htown.
htownnewbie I agree some things are different but the world is always changing. It’s always easier said than done. You can always come up with a dozen or so reasons why you “can’t” do something; move, get a degree, new job, etc. Anyone can come up with those reasons. Find a way that you CAN do it. Be unconventional, create your solution. Just realize it won’t be solved overnight but working toward your solution will empower you.
I have 4 years to go and am counting the days!!
Wake up in a great mood, by the time I get to the office....... nothing more said.
Meem Yep....it adds an easy 3hr plus a day of just commuting. I hate it! If Morris County wasn't so dang $$$ I would leave Warren County and be closer to work.
umMMI drive 1.5hrs in the morning leave at 330 and 3 hrs on the way home home by 6 we love were we live and tje friends make it worth it
When I lived in the H'town area, I had a 42 mile one-way Rt. 80 commute to my job in Essex County. After I got divorced, I jumped the river and it went up to 61 miles.
The job paid well, but regulation density and a psychotic boss made it pretty stressful. When said boss shifted my hours from an 8 am start to an 8:30am start....no newsflash that minutes made a difference back then....things got worse to the tune of far more frequent 1.5 to 2 hr. commutes.
It sucks even more now.
Left that job in 2014 and was promptly replaced by 1.5 people (it's government....)
Now I have a 45 minute commute on 46 from the PA border to a job in Morris County near Hackettstown....and it's 45 minutes of nice scenery along with a drive through Hackettstown (and I really like Hackettstown.)
Comparatively speaking, the commute is almost heaven.
jjmonth4 "Left that job in 2014 and was promptly replaced by 1.5 people (it's government....)"
Ain't that the truth!!!!
I commuted to Wall Street from hackettstown for about a year and later to jersey city for about 6 months - bad times. I feel you
Skippy I live in independence and commute at least 50 miles each way. Lately I've been in manhattan. The saving grace is that I leave my house at 345 am and am home by 345 pm most days. I've gotten use to the early mornings and I enjoy the peaceful ride in the morning. I do well at my job so the incentive is there. I love my coworkers and although we work very hard we have a good time doing it.
Indykid it's still a grind. if you have to be out at 345 you are still up at 3 - even though you get home at 3:45 you are falling asleep by 8 and try to catch up on the weekend which means an entire recovery day. it sucks
I am in sales and my prior territory included all of NJ and Manhattan. The trips to NYC were a nightmare!!! The city is only 52 miles door to door and most times it would take me 2.5 - 3 hrs EACH WAY. I did this for 16 years. A colleague of mine recently retired and her territory is the eastern half of PA - Scranton - Lancaster and West to Harrisburg. I decided enough is enough and took over her spot. I haven't been this happy in years.
Every morning, everyone is headed EAST and I'm headed WEST. Every afternoon, everyone is headed WEST and I'm headed EAST. Best move I ever did.
TheSoundGuy I traded a job i dreaded going to not because of the work but management. Now i am driving further for less money and loving it.
CJ. As a retired person I can tell you work is SO overrated...lol
Retired at 58 in 2015 after working for the same company for 36 years, thank god for a pension. I started covering the entire state of NJ early in my career with most of the work in Hudson, Bergen, Union, Passaic counties. We moved to Washington in 1987 so traffic on 31 and 78 was very easy. As time went on the trip to these area grew from1 hour to 2 plus hours. As I climbed the corporate ladder during the last 8 years I covered everything east of the Mississippi River, typically gone for a week home for a week. The week away starter by driving to Newark Airport and catching a plane oh what fun. Lived in Bergen County before moving to Washington, have no regrets moving it was a great place to raise our 2 daughters. But when we retired we were quick to get out of NJ.
My neighbors in Washington would commute to NYC EVERYDAY 2 plus hours each way each day, snow, rain sometimes 3 hours....Weekends recover start all over on Monday.....
Retirement a wonderful thing......something to look forward too.....
NotIn NJ Anymore 
G-remnant I'm lucky that my commute isn't that bad. 29 miles consistently takes me 40-45 min. I drive on 287 against traffic, South in the morning, North at night. Everyone is going the other way.
When I started out of college, I had a 50 mile one way commute from Blairstown to Princeton. Used to leave at 5:55 and it took me an hour. Boy it does drain you.
JR, not 'everyone' owes on 'everything'. You don't have to go in to debt to buy a car, get an education, buy a couch. I agree, we're conditioned to think that, but you don't 'have' to. The financial industry has brainwashed us in to thinking it's normal. You 'need' a good credit score (which only means that you're good at borrowing money and paying them back, with interest). Then, when you can't pay it back, you get debt consolidation, payday loans, tax forgiveness, reverse mortgages, etc.
Too many people live beyond their means. Everything goes on a credit card, car loans are up to what, 84 months?, zero down on a mattress. vMountains of college loans. Doesn't have to be that way. Save and pay cash. Stop buying garbage at Walmart. Go to a less expensive college. 2 years out of school the name doesn't matter.
Not saying it works for a house, but for most everything else it should. Spend less than you earn.
MeisterNJ MeisterNJ - AWESOME post!
I agree. It's time we start calling out the brainwashing.
We're brainwashed to think taking on debt is the "American way". It is - to make rich Americans even richer - those who are loaning you the money.
We're brainwashed to think the best investment is buying a home. It's not, not anymore. It's pretty big gamble, and lots of studies show that when everything is factored in, it's not only cheaper to rent but taking that downpayment money and putting it to work would leave you much better off in the long run.
We're brainwashed that we need to go to an expensive college to be successful. Universities are primarily big, money-making corporations now. Not to mention they will introduce your bouncing baby boy/girl into the wonders of excessive substance abuse. The overwhelming majority of CEOs and other successful people went to state schools and/or community colleges (or skipped that racket and went right to work or tech school).
We're brainwashed by "pay later" zero interest loans, low interest, constantly bombarded all day and night with very persuasive advertising and messaging to buy more than we need and more than we can afford.
Our kids are brainwashed that they're being mistreated or disadvantaged because they don't have the latest crap. Pay cash for your car, it's just a means to get somewhere. Buy a safe, reliable used vehicle and spare the debt. I could buy a new Tesla (or several) but when I come out of Shoprite and see that some yahoo dinged my old Subaru's door with their door or cart, I just go on my merry way. Cuz it's already been done a few times.
It's an exhilarating, freeing, beautiful thing to not have payments. Please work to pay down debt. Hard times are coming, we're long overdue for a correction and that means it will likely be a long one. Every article I read that's NOT by someone who has a stake in persuading folks into the bad decision to buy into the stock market is saying it's coming - like almost every respected economist. Even the hedge-fund folks are predicting it. Move to short-term bonds, TIPS, FDIC insured savings, laddered CDs, pay down debt. Be ready.
On the original topic - do what you love and typically the money will follow. Life's too short to be needlessly miserable.
BH2 MeisterNJ
Agree 100% I have never had a car loan, home equity loan, etc, the only loan I had was a 30 year mortgage which I paid off in 15 years. Having grown up with depression parents it was drilled into my head live within your means. I remember my first raise telling my father how excited I was to get a great raise, he said son do not tell me how much you are getting in your paycheck tell me how much of it is going into the bank each paycheck!
I was lucky to marry someone who had the same upbringing. Living within your means is sometimes hard but in the long run it is much easier in the end.
Thanks BH2.
While I can't say that I never fell into the debt trap, I did learn from it and now am fortunate enough to be able to pay cash for things. Only debt we have is the mortgage. Even when I would take out a car loan, it would never be for more than 3 years or $400 a month and would always pay it off sooner. Paid off my student loan in one year. I hate paying more for things that I don't have to.
It ticks me off hearing these commercials lately about 'don't let the IRS trick you into thinking you have to pay off your debt' and similarly ' If you have debt you can't afford, don't let the credit card companies trick you into paying it all back'. What have we come to?
Back to the original thread:
There is value in having a reasonable commute and steps should be taken to make it so. Not only savings in money, but more importantly time.
I think we've mostly all fallen into the debt trap at some point. Never again, though.
Right, all those commercials for "services" showing folks how to bail out on their student debts are doing one thing - passing those defaults off to us, the taxpayers when they default. Somehow they've normalized student debt as the American Way just like car loans and paying the minimum on credit card debt. It's a huge problem.
Metsman I drive 4 miles each way.
Not the best company/pay by far, but the quality of life with a short commute makes up for it. I am home in five minutes.
You can’t replace time with money.
Really??? At one point I had a 3 mile, 7 min commute. Sometimes I miss that, but there's also something to say about having a little bit of a buffer between work and home. Especially when people know that you're the one closest to work.
I will say, with podcasts and satellite radio, I do find that my commute is more tolerable then when your choice was just a radio station or two.
"You can’t replace time with money." What if you drive 1 mile to work but absolutely hate your 40 hours per week job, is this a good situation?
My full time job is three 12 hour days...7PM-7AM on I-80 exit 19 to 47B in Parsippany. Going home in the morning on I-80 WB is all against traffic. Can't complain.
Part time job takes me down Route 31 from Oxford to Flemington on Sunday/Tuesday/Wednesday mornings. Sunday morning is a breeze...Tues/Wed are absolutely horrendous!! Those three traffic lights from Grochowicz Farms in Hampton to Hot Rods Hot Dogs down to Muller Toyota are an absolute disaster!! All three lights bottle neck traffic through that 31 Glen Gardner corridor terribly. It doesn't get moving again until two lanes open up by Riley and Jakes Restaurant in Clinton.
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