Cash Gifts for Weddings?
I know that the opinion on this varies greatly, but I'm trying to get an idea of what the average rate is for cash wedding gifts in 2016. I haven't been to a wedding in quite a while. My niece is getting married and the reception is at a pretty fancy venue as opposed to a hall.
Thanks for any input.
Calico696 For a relative, with minimal travel/expenses, I'd say at least $300. If I remember correctly, I got $500 from each of my two sets of aunts and uncles. I'm the only niece of theirs and my brother isn't married. So number of relatives to gift over time may make a difference as well.
For coworkers/casual friends we've given about $100 per person, maybe a little more or less depending on whether it was local or not.
Tracy 
Lynn I would make some attempt to calculate the per head price at the venue and do better that that by some margin so the couple ends up ahead
skippy 
maja2 Aren't you Italian? Bring a card in an unsealed envelope and your checkbook and make out the check commensurate with how good the food is and how efficient the open bar is. I thought everyone knew that. Geesh... (-;
ianimal 
Amy $150/head non relative. For a niece: $300 if you're going by yourself, $500 with a spouse or plus one.
No thespian
LOL ianimal. I'm sure the Italians will be doing that. Since I'm only 1/2 Italian, I see things a little differently. ;-)
For those who said $500, do you still think the same when I note that we have 13 nieces and nephews total? Do you think that factors into the equation at all or not? I really have no idea.
Lynn - Do I assume correct that the numbers in the picture you posted are per person and not per couple?
Please keep the opinions coming.
Botheredbyuu2 The budget and means of the person doing the giving absolutely comes into play! If you're up there with Bill Gates, you'll certainly be giving more than $500, as well you should. If you're a single mom and barely making ends meet, no reasonable people in the world would expect $500 from you. There are many factors that come into play, and with 13 nieces and nephews, you might have to get a second job to give each of them $500!
Rebecka You give what you can afford, without being cheap. Their decision to spend a small fortune on a reception is their problem, not yours. You are not reimbursing them for the meal. If they had eloped, I would hope you would give them the same amount of money, not less. So the cost of your meal has nothing to do with it. Be generous, especially with a beloved relative, but don't be shamed into giving more than you can really afford. We have lost the true meaning of gift giving and holding receptions. Greed has taken over. A decent Bride and Groom will never mention to anyone else how much you gave or compare it to others. They will appreciate that you wanted to share in their joyous occasion and gifted them. (Yea, I know I am dreaming!).
JBJSKJ Yeah, I think the question is posed incorrectly. IMO always *gift* what you feel is appropriate for your personal situation. If the feeling is that the recipient will be judgemental about the amount *gifted* then perhaps declining the invitation would be the better option.
Accentuation the word gift above is intentional. Again, IMO, if the recipient can't comprehend the definition of gift then it would probably be best to simply not attend.
justintime different than lynn's, keep in mind that the place plus food alone probably cost the couple $125-$250 per head. then there's the costs of the dj. even if you don't count the photos, etc. because you didn't get the benefit of them, don't you want to at least cover your cost?
Justin, don't think of it as a "gift"; think of it as a "tax" without the government agent and his gun. Think of societal norms as the "authority" to which you must submit (-;
Depends on where the wedding is and what food/beverage is served.
If its a seafood buffet and top shelf liquor then gift bigger. If its coors light and hot dogs, here's a fifty.
Depends on who it is for. My husbands aunts and uncles gave us about $300-500 each (with the exception of one who gave $1,000). Friends gave us $100-300.
sunshinenj Calico, I have 11 nieces and nephews. I am close with my 4 siblings, if that makes a difference. But I always believe give what you are comfortable with.
Writing the check after you see what the food and open bar situation is applies to acquaintances only :)
After reading this, I found a current article on Vogue website that is in line with my views. www.vogue.com/13415460/weddings-wedding-gift-buying-spending-giving-rules
I personally don't give according to 'plate' value. The place is what the couple picked - that is on them. Whether it be a backyard wedding or at an upscale place, I give the same amount. I could never afford $300+ to attend a wedding, a shower gift, and engagement gift. $150 to $200 max.
Hopeful Ahh, but I can handle judgmental people Ian. I figure if one doesn't understand that everyone's situation is different then arms-length interactions would be best anyway (the assumption being a judgmental reaction in this case would be readily repeated in any other situation).
A bullet is a whole other story, so conformance based on "societal" judgement will win out every time there ;-)
I always go with the cover the cost of your plate theory. If it is at a higher end venue, on a Saturday night in you are probably looking at 500 for a couple. A Sunday afternoon at same facility 300.
JrzyGirl88 After reading all these responses I've got to say that the one that nailed it on the head was JBJSKJ!
I usually give $200 for my husband and I attending. I'm not rich and I'm heading into retirement in a few years so I'm not about to grow broke on a gift. When I got married whatever I was given was great as it wasn't to pay for the wedding and etc.
I have three nieces and when they get married I will probably give the one that is my Godchild more than the other two.
Have fun at the wedding.
Magpie 
positive Just gave 300 bucks to a 2nd cousin and his bride, and we didn't attend the wedding because it was in Tenn.
Anyway, I told my wife, put cash in a card, with two money holder cards inside.
One with 200 in it; labeled Groom, and one with 100 in it; labeled Bride.
My wife said, "Why would you do that?" I said, "For one thing, they would never forget what we gave them as a gift!"
Embryodad In this economy?? Stay within YOUR budget by all means!! This is what gets people in trouble- when they over give and simply can't afford it. If you can give that much and feel it is appropriate fine, however, I doubt it is the norm for most people. I would never expect wedding guests to pay for MY wedding.
Gardenfish Exactly JIT & JBJSKJ....
"I would never expect wedding guests to pay for MY wedding"
That right there sums it up. If people want to have these huge expensive weddings with all the bells and whistles that cost a ridiculous amount of money...great! Then they should expect to pay for the entire thing.
I can't stand when I hear the couple discussing how much they will make back from the wedding.
I personally don't like weddings and think they are a huge waste of money. I think people should just want their family and friends to join them in celebrating with them. In saying that, the gift should NOT be based on anything other then what the individual feels is appropriate and can afford.
How sad that people are concerned with what society believes is the "proper" amount to give rather than the event itself.
JRT Keep in mind, that not everyone pays for their own wedding, in whole or in part. So gifting the bride and groom shouldn't really relate to how much was spent to throw the party.
OMG, I once got a phone call the night before a wedding from the mother of a bride whose wedding we attended about 3 months prior. This wedding was for her nephew, and she tried telling me to make sure we gave a lesser amount to her nephew, than we did her daughter - sad. We actually gave the nephew more! Who the heck did she think she was!
ForClarification We have a wedding coming up that we have to fly to Illinois for. My husband's cousin is getting married.
3 nights in a hotel, flights for the two of us and a rental car and then a gift. That usually changes the amount we give, yes we don't HAVE to travel to the wedding, it is our choice, but it's also the midwest and weddings are a little different out there, presents are more of a norm than just money. The weddings are different too - just as lovely but a tiny less formal, at least so far for the family events we have attended out there.
When my nephew got married we gave $350. I was unemployed at the time. Brunch wedding to save on costs and her family paid for it (they insisted even though they are my no means wealthy and my sister offered to pitch in). When we got married in 2002 the largest gift we got was from my husband's grandparents and that was $500, we paid for our own wedding and didn't expect our guests to foot the bill. If we couldn't afford something, we didn't have it at the wedding. I did the flowers for the ceremony myself...
I think it's nice to "attempt" to cover your plate, but if they're having a wedding fit for royalty I don't think it's on the guests to foot the bill.
dadogmomma I got married in 1967, certainly know how things have changed. Many of our cards had $5.00 to $15.00 in them. One of the most important couples said they so much wanted to come but was honest and said they did not have a dress, and husband never owned a suit. It is about having your freinds with you that special day...or atleast I feel it should be. One very special young couple that got married 4 yrs go had a beautiful wedding. And on the tables a note.... Please excuse the lack of table center pieces and wedding tokens...we felt it was more important to donate that money to Chrone's Reseach for our special day... Now that I admired so very much...
Jo Amen! + another 1 JIT JBJSKJ.
"Should" give certain amount = an invoice.
Invitations are supposed to be to share in the celebration because the couple enjoys your presenCE not presents.
catherine 
Joyful I usually give $50-$100. The last thing I'm thinking about is making sure we cover the cost of our meal or anything else associate with the wedding.
smilingbecs i got married and had the reception at a hall, cash gifts ranged between 25.00 and 300.00
I give what i can, times are tough.
Icicle The rule of thumb was cover your plate. I usually give $250 - $300. We all love our relatives, but may not be able to afford that. i had an extremely Italian wedding and my husband is not and his one relatives that came with 4 only gave $25. I did not care, I knew they couldn't afford much but was just glad they came.
just saying Can't believe the perfect timing of this thread. My husband's son from his first marriage just got married last month and my husband was not invited even though they've had a good relationship. To make matters worse..a few months before the wedding my stepson called my husband and asked for our daughter's address to send an invite and told my husband he was not invited to his wedding.
Well, just today my stepson called my husband and wanted to know why he didn't send him money for his wedding. Furthermore, he continued to complain that certain people didn't give him enough money.
Thought weddings were about unity.. sharing and celebrating with the people you love?
Didn't know it was a business investment....
My opinion is that weddings today are like sweet 16 birthdays and proms. Over priced...over exaggerated and overrated. I guess I'm for the simple things in life.
It is not a guest's responsibility to cover their plate, the bride and groom choose the venue based on their budget, not their guests' budgets. I had some people give me $20 at my wedding and I was fine with it, the day is about celebrating a marriage, not about recouping the costs spent on a wedding you chose to have. I would never want a guest to give more than they could afford or more than they were comfortable with giving. You can always buy a few inexpensive items off their registry and add some cash to that. It always makes for a nice gift!
Jesse123 
Luca Totally agree with you Jesse123. Unfortunately that is the way people think. Rule of thumb cover the cost of the plate
Htownlifer Well... when I have my outdoor wedding, I'll invite the mayor, to marry us. Your presence is our gift. Party, a classic rock, open jam,(don't forget your instruments), every one is going to bring one dish of their favorite, inexpensive recipe. We'll have a barbecue going. Tie dyed clothing mandatory...LOL..and you're all invited!! Now I just have to get engaged... that's the tough part, (ha ha)
Really, though, like the other posters said. The gift should be whatever you can afford, but if you're going to be "P.C", it's the estimated price for a dinner. Hay! McDonald's would be a fun place to get married, huh? Or, burger king. The bride and groom can be "crowned":)
sparksjbc1964 sparksjbc1964 - I would be delighted to cook Italian for you: Chicken parmesan, shrimp scampi; baked ziti, meatballs, sausages peppers and onions, antipasto, garlic bread, etc. Can't help you with getting engaged though, that's all up to you and your partner. Let me know when you have a firm date. BTW, the whole meal for 50 people would cost me under $150...my gift, and it can be expanded. Will you dance the tarantella?
DannyC In England we generally didn't give money in smaller rural areas. The reception was at the village hall and the food made by family. The gifts were generally from a wedding list or registry. The list was handed around and people crossed off what they were buying. Funny story one of my cousin's reception ended up in a brawl. People flying over tables etc. LOL All due to drinking of course. I remember my mom hustling us out. :)
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