Question for the ladies
I'd like to get an idea on how other women feel about being called ma'am and how often does this occur?
I'm 49 and a little sensitive about getting up there, so when people call me ma'am it really bothers the heck out of me.
I know it's a term used to be respectful, but is it just used towards older women?
Oversensitive these days....
positive 
Calico696 Thanks for your input Calico. I'm having a hard time being almost 50. I've been going through the changes big time; physically, emotionally and mentally. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Lol.
Haha! I'm right there with you with the hot flashes etc. Not fun. But glad to be still on the top side of the grass. ;-)
I'm 39. I don't love it but I remember browning up and working in retail being told that I should call anyone who looked even slightly older then I was ma'am as it was supposed to be a show of respect.
Now being called "sweetie" I really don't love :)
red76nj At 55 I'm glad I'm done with all that. Lol. (A hot flash once in a blue moon).
Ma'am makes me feel "old as hell" but I know it's a respectful term. Just smile and keep thinking, you could be 89, instead of 49. You're only as old as you feel. Just remember your name.....positive! : )
Botheredbyuu2 If you lived in the South, you'd hear it a hundred times a day!
I do recall my shock and dismay the first time a cashier in shoprite called me that :) But what else are they going to address you as really? Embrace the good manners! As Calico stared, they are just being polite.
maja2 I've been called ma'am, many times, by both young and older people. I'm in my early 50's. I don't get embarrassed by age. I think it's polite. It's similar to "sir", also polite regardless of age. If I don't know someone's name, I to, will use ma'am or sir to address someone until I find out what their preference is. I think women get offended by ma'am, more than guys getting called sir. Me? I think they both show a sign of respect. I even call young people ma'am or sir, if I don't know their name.
sparksjbc1964 I always saw it as a sign of respect, even in my 20's. Now 67 and still appreciate courtesy. I also do NOT like "sweetie", especially from someone who could be my grandaughter. " Young lady" either.
Dansker That's just silly. It is and has always been a sign of respect. maja2 is correct in that it is extremely common in the south.
You are obviously insecure about the aging process. What would you prefer? Miss? Young lady? Dear? Lol
I think it's funny we have had complaints on here about others calling us "guys" or just using terms like "hey" when speaking to us. Now we actually have someone being addressed properly and there's still a problem!!
JRT I was 20 years old when I married and my husband was in the military. We had friends who also were in the military, had two young sons who they brought up to call all adults "sir" or "ma'am". There I was, barely out of my teens being called ma'am by a 13 year old. I hated it, but that was how they raised their children. Now, although it's still not my favorite term, I am a ma'am and it is a sign of respect, and shows that person was raised to be respectful.
Parental Unit JRT she did say she's not thrilled with getting older and as a woman myself, I get it.
Knowing it's respectful, is one thing, but being ok with being ok with your age is another story. lol
I wish I was a woman who just embraced the age she is.........but alas I would give anything for a day or two of being in my early twenties. lol
Re-much more carefree....body parts where three inches higher....I could get up at 6, go to work, then party all night on a Friday night and not DIE...........I could have relations for hours almost every day, not the once a week if Im lucky..........oh the list goes on.
On the other hand.....what I have now is... two wonderful almost grown children, so no more midnight feeds, no more diapers and with any luck grandchildren are getting to be a real possibility.....ect.
So for me positive, aging stung for a while, it was and at times still is a process of acceptance.
Positive, or should I say ma'am you will be ok. ::)
littlelu Littlelu, I am a 44 yr. Old woman. I understand what she is saying.
Aging happens whether you like or not. I don't feel any different today then I did in my twenties, but I also don't really care much about the number. The more you focus on it, worry about it, and pick out all the things surrounding it (like being called mam) the more it's going to bother you. Don't dwell on things you cannot change.
Use this opportunity to maybe do something you've never done or maybe haven't done since you were a kid. Find a new hobby or just do something that would be completely out of character. Enjoy life no matter what stage you're at. If you sit around focusing on getting old and worrying about being sensitive to what people are calling you or thinking about you......you are going to get old a lot faster!!!!! Enjoy each day and don't worry about the little things that don't matter:)
I'm 50. Yes, it is daunting getting older but as it relates to being called "ma'am"? That has never bothered me. There are a lot worse things one could be called, so why let that upset you?
Suze As Maja2 stated..if you have ever lived in the South...Everyone addresses young and old in that manner. Personally I love being addressed as Ma'am or my husband as Sir or Mr. or Mrs....or as one of our friends call me... Mrs. Joyful!...
Joyful I'm 52 and ma'am is fine from a stranger. It shows the respect that society is lacking these days. However, once a relationship (of any kind) is established, I would simply tell my new friend to call me by my first name, Mrs. So/So.... whatever.
And as far as being sensitive about the aging process, it's only a number! You're only as old as you feel. I'll be 39 forever :-)
Dallas I'm only 24 and I get called ma'am ALL of the time from customers at my job. It kind of bothers me, but not to the point where it drives me insane lol!
stephanie1At this point in life it's a respect thing. I also realize it's geographic, nature vs. nurture or my favorite when it's spoken by a member of the military.
iRun I am 28 and get called Ma'am all the time! I don't love it, but I do appreciate that it's a sign of respect. I usually smile, then get in my car and whisper "do I look like a ma'am?" LOL
Heather1 Someone (an adult man) just bumped into me at a store and called me ma'am. I just turned 25 :|
uh I'm 48 and I don't mind at all. In fact I never gave it much of a thought. I don't remember any hard transition from "miss" to "ma'am", and I get called "miss" sometimes still.
What DOES annoy me is being called "young lady" or being proofed. I think sometimes the people who do this expect me to pee myself with joy at being mistaken for someone so young. Yeah, like I'm stupid and/or delusional enough to really believe I look under 21. Please.
I also don't like when I say my age and anyone reacts with, "Don't tell! A lady never tells!" This lady doesn't really care if people know how old she is. We're not all trying to be younger than we are.
Aquarius I'm 41and I don't care. I don't think I've ever cared about titles though. I'm more irked when people spell my name incorrectly. Not much bothers me in general though - I'm pretty easygoing.
Antimony "You should be happy no one calls you sir. Thats something to complain about."
LOL so true. I have very curly hair and when I was a little kid my mother used to cut it really short so she wouldn't have to deal with it. People used to constantly say, "Excuse me Son." Grrrr.....that pissed me off to no end!
71 here and happy as long as no one calls me anything mean --- proud to be my age - as all you young'uns will one day
4catmom @calico: curly girl or should i say m'am experienced the same short hair woes as you. Hardly cut it as a result!
I know hormones can wreak havoc on our minds, they really can make you feel like you are losing your mind. But I am always greatful for every day that I am alive and with my family and friends. Not everyone is blessed with the opportunity to be called ma'am. Every wrinkle, achy joint, etc... is a reminder that we are lucky to still be living life! Smile on!!!
Jane123 Thanks everyone for your input .
Just to be clear, I'm oversensitive probably due to menapause..sensitive about a lot of things lately.
Never said being called ma'am drives me insane nor aging. It bothers me, but not to the point where I'm dwelling on it. However going through menopause sometimes makes me feel like I'm losing my mind.
Just wanted to see what other women thought, but of course there's always that one person that takes everything out of context and exaggerates what was said.
Learned a lot about "ma'am"...I'm no longer going to view it as a negative title.
Thanks :):)
I try to spend my day looking for reasons to be happy. I have never and will never spend my days looking for reasons to be offended. Being addressed with this words you mentioned to me, are just a way to show respect. There is no way I would want to be a man in today's world, seems to me they are damned if they do and damned if they don't.
Diana G from a man's PoV (or this man at least). ma'am is just the female version of 'sir'. it's a show of respect. However, terms such as 'hon', 'honey', 'sweetie' etc. I don't feel are appropriate (unless it's to your sig. other), whenever I hear a man addressing a woman this way, I cringe.
ScottB Diana, read and reread my above posts. I'm not looking for reasons to be offended, I was just seeking opinions from others on how they feel being called ma'am and maybe I'm being oversensitive.
Naive me thought this would be a light hearted noncontroversial thread. What was I thinking? Lol ();
Thanks Scott for your input.
"Naive me thought this would be a light hearted noncontroversial thread. What was I thinking? Lol ();"
Silly you! :-)
Positive.........you could start a thread.............isn't the sunset a lovely color of purple tonight..........and it could go goofie. lol
NO worries. I got what you were saying.
I was told a long time ago "take what you need and leave the rest".
Sometimes easier done, cause I know if 50 people love my new hair cut and 1 hates it...........you know which one I think about. lololol
I was watching a show with my kids and the woman, who had a young boy looked to me to look a bunch older then me. I asked my boy, dont you think she looks a bunch older then me.........oh boy wrong questions. Seems through my eyes I'm still lookin 20 hehehehehehehe
positive - Great respect for the courage of women: menstruation, childbirth, then menopause. You deserve the great respect of being called "ma'am", and should be saluted as a Marine. Perhaps you may want to get a 49-ers jersey and wear it for 15 years as my wife has done until age 64. Just trying to make light. Life is good at all ages. The best to you.
DannyC My daughter was an officer in the Military at age 23. She was always called Ma'am by all the senior soldiers. The first time she heard it she was a bit shocked, but learned to be thankful that her soldiers learned respect. Yes, it is very much a Military thing as well as a Southern thing. We all learn to hear it as a sign of respect. Positive, you are no different than the rest of us women when we reach that point in our lives.
Ms Fishy It's kind of spooky but did you ever notice that Ma'am spelled backwards is ma'aM?
strangerdanger I prefer to be addressed by my first name. When we lived in SC, it was insane how much they threw around the ma'am and sir stuff but when your back is turned they call you a stupid yankee!
Mommyof3 Is ma'am short for madam?
I think it's that sir covers men of all ages respectfully, but ma'am seems to imply an older women (exclusive of southerners and military). Miss is an option, I suppose, but I don't hear it used too much. I'm 35 and being called ma'am makes me feel like an old lady.
Aquarius, it bums me out that I don't get proofed anymore. My kids are aging me. ;)
Tracy When my husband came home from boot camp, he called everyone sir and ma'am. Still does. It is something they are taught and it shows respect. However, coming back to NJ he got a lot of "do I look like a ma'am", "are you military", and "did you grow up in the south". As mentioned above, I much rather hear that than sweetie and hon.
Tracy, it's not aging. It's an undeniable authority, and like being called "ma'am" it's a sign of respect. :-)
Commenting is no longer available.