Does anyone care about wedding favors or ever keep them?

Ok, So I'm planning a wedding and I want to keep a low budget and one thing I dont want to do is spend a couple hundred bucks on something that will not be taken or will be taken and thrown out. Is it rude not to have wedding favors? I was thinking instead of favors I would think of a poem thanking guest for their time and sharing the day with us on nice card stock that matches the wedding theme and placing on their plate would mean more? Any thoughts?

It depends on what they are. A nice little trinket with a date and some names on it is better than a fancy, jewel encrusted butter knives which most people just left at the table at the last wedding I went to. I keep some things. Maybe at the anniversary in 25 or even 50 years, it will be nice to see something.

EB July 23, 2008 9:32 pm | Link

We made a donation to the American Cancer Society in honor of both my grandmothers and my husbands grandmother. We made our own cards up that said that info. I used a really pretty font and rolled up the paper. Then tied a pretty satin ivory bow and put one on each plate at the wedding.

We felt alot better sending the American Cancer Society a donation rather than spending it on a chachki.

Good Luck.

LadyBug July 23, 2008 9:33 pm | Link

It depends on your guests... the Italians LOOOVE their favors.

One wedding I attended gave a little something of chocolate but then a really pretty book-mark with a quote about love from the Bible and the couple's name and wedding date. I love to read so it was a great gift. I would rather something to eat rather than another keepsake and I like to bring something home to my girls if they didn't go to the wedding. Best Wishes on your engagement!

Kate S. July 23, 2008 9:39 pm | Link

LadyBug...that is a wonderful way to honor those special people that are no longer with us. I vote for no favors. I really don't think anyone keeps them or cares about them.

FireFly July 23, 2008 9:39 pm | Link

Firefly, I voted no on giving favors at our wedding... unfortunately, I got outvoted 1 to 1 (-;

No favors. Spend the money on something worthwhile. I know everyone frets over the color of matchbooks, little mini wine bottles, and all sorts of crap that honestly just makes money for companies that sell the trinkets.

I like the idea of donating to a worthy cause, and a perfectly lovely card on placesettings. You'll realize AFTER the wedding how much money you could have put towards a home, and tons of other things. I LOVE fancy schmancy and girly stuff and I did it and regretted that I didn't notice HALF of it that day. I couldn't have cared less that day if the freakin napkins matched, etc. (I'm divorced and I wonder sometimes if anyone has one of MY trinkets. LOL)

When your wedding day is over, you'll realize just how many things you didn't have time to notice during the day or just didn't care about THAT day, because it's fast paced and frantic and fun and ...well, it is YOUR day. Don't sweat the SMALL stuff. People are there to celebrate your love and ceremony. If they have to walk away with a trinket, have a gumball dispenser. (Oh, gosh, I'm only kidding...no nasty emails...please...lol)

INeedMoreCowBell July 23, 2008 10:06 pm | Link

I like a favor that will actually be used, not tossed in the trash or left on the table, that's such a waste. I've been to weddings where they give you a lottery ticket with a poem attached, $1.00 and it could be good for someone. I once got a nice candle with the matching scent in a bar of handmade soap, tied in a piece of tulle, cute but I bet pricey. I love the thought of the bride and grooms favorite love songs put on a cd with a label thanking them for sharing their special day, has to be reasonable to make. My daughter went to a wedding where they gave heart shaped measuring spoons with a saying on the box about measures of love or something. Finally, I went to wonderful wedding at a B&B in New Hope, and they gave mason jars filled with the ingredients for their favorite cookies. They had 3 different ones and they had a handmade label with the ingredients and directions.

Bessie July 23, 2008 10:44 pm | Link

you cannot go wrong with giving away the guest tables centerpieces... I had my wedding at davids country inn and we gave away the flowers off the tables. We also gave chocolate dipped strawberries. If your on a budget go with something edible or flowers... who doesnt enjoy both???

I don't think anyone will notice the absence of a wedding favor. Its a waste of money, in my opinion. If you have the money to spend and want to do something, I like that idea of donating to s charity in memory of a loved one. How wonderful!

SusieQ July 23, 2008 11:33 pm | Link

What ever you choose, it should be from the heart and not just because it is expected.

I love the idea of a donation to a charity. That is really something special to remember those that could not be there that day.

Most of the wedding favors I have received over the years have not made it in the house past a year or so.

Coralie July 24, 2008 7:04 am | Link

I think people expect favors nowadays. We did a donation to Kessler in honor or my husband's father and sister. We also did Hershey kisses because we were married on Sweetest Day. We went to a wedding without favors and it was the talk of the table.

justcurious July 24, 2008 7:46 am | Link

I don't really care at all about favors. Little knick knack things often come home, sit on my counter for a couple of months, and then "disappear". I absolutely don't want things-like a wine glass with the bride & groom's name on it-I would never use that.

Something edible: homemade cookies, candy, homemade jelly-much better to me. And I like the idea of a donation. Went to a friend's wedding where they did that-they just had a framed sign on the table that said "In lieu of favors, a donation has been made to xyz." Everyone thought it was a great idea.

Although I did hear of one wedding where the bride collected family recipes from both hers and FIs family, and made a family cookbook. I'd love that!

In my humble opinion, if people care or talk about whether or not they got a trinket from someone's wedding, they shouldn't be there.

The purpose loses it's meaning to me. I don't expect people to shell out money for a 'keepsake' for me. If that's the case, then someone should ask upfront "Hey, what favor are you giving, so whether I know it's worth coming?" The keepsake is the time I spent witnessing the union, pictures and memories. Simple is best: charity, and I love the recipe idea, simple cards of thanks, etc.

It's one more headache and expense for the couple marrying to go through something that's not needed. It's all for show. when I think of all the little things I sweated through and were insignificant, I just laugh now. I could have had the money in my pocket and less headaches.

skoolbored July 24, 2008 8:53 am | Link

What about the customized M&M's? You could put your names on one side & the date on the other. That might be a hit! They can even put your FACES on M&Ms now! I think it's pretty pricey but would be a cute favor.

i got married 3 years ago at a restraunt in lk hopatcong.we had our pictures taken on our pontoon boat.it was a beach themed wedding and we had silver dolphin bottle openers.eveyone loved them and a see them being used at our guests home regularly.but i ad only about 38 people at my wedding-they were alittle pricey.but they went over big>>>>.good luck!!

I have been to a million weddings in the past few years. Honestly I think party favors are silly. I have tons of cheese knives and candles now. A few of my friends donated money to the Humane Society or the Cancer Society. I think that is a great idea. If you really do want to have a favor, make sure it is food so it can be eaten. I think on a whole most people dont want to have something they will never use.

Kelly July 24, 2008 10:44 am | Link

I think with all of this being said I'm not doing favors....

IKE- I looked into the my M&M the prices are extream very cute idea if budget wasnt and option.

Thank you everyone. I think with all the infomation given I will not spend the money on favors. I already am having open bar for 5 hours and paying for a shuttle back to the hotel.

Bride-good decision, IMHO. Here's my last (I promise) thought on "favors": you're already providing free food, drink, and entertainment for your guests. That IS the favor-not the monogrammed beer koozie.

GL to you!

Most of the time, just take them because you feel you are suppose to. Let them sit around the house for awhile collecting dust and then toss at some point. And that would be for anyone other than my kids etc, then I would keep but all relatives, all friends, etc, would toss out

Mom July 24, 2008 12:06 pm | Link

Sorry Marshmallow,,i've never been to a wedding that was "free"!!! Aside from the cost of what to wear and anything that goes with it,,how about "the Envelope" gift??

Well come in my store and see all the favors.

Christine July 24, 2008 6:28 pm | Link

I dunno ginger. Personally, I don't generally go out and buy an entire new outfit to go to a wedding. I wear something that's already in my closet-so no cost there.

And of course I don't count the gift. But then, as an adult, I also bring a gift to someone's birthday party, and don't expect to leave with a goodie bag. I'll leave that for the kiddies.

:)

I agree with marshmallow. If you're getting married, then the people there that truly love you will be just happy to see you get hitched. They don't mind bringing an envelope or gift because it's a celebration. Plus, they are invited to all the festivities: dancing, food, and good times during the event. If someone expects some dorky take home item, that obviously most of us collect til we chuck, then that's their problem.
So, Christine...get your IV pole, get up and go up and down the floors and troll for a single doctor for me. I want to test out the 'favors' theory. Actually, just grab me a bunch of those little shampoos, soaps, and shower caps from all the rooms and I'll give those out. ;)
Glad you're back. ;)

INeedMoreCowBell July 24, 2008 6:40 pm | Link

INMCB, Lassoed in a few residents for you! Unfortunately he had to call his wife becaause his kids were sick!

Christine July 24, 2008 7:33 pm | Link

Personally, I have been to some weddings that have favors and some that didn't have them. Not a big deal imo either way...I don't think people will be like "Where are the favors - Did anyone see any? If they're there, cool, if not I don't even think about it! I can only speak for myself of course!

KAT July 24, 2008 7:46 pm | Link

This is a little off the subject but how do people feel about the new wedding craze - "the destination wedding"? Now people are holding their weddings at far away locations for which people have to travel - like Italy or Canada or Cancun.

destination weddings I guess good for some but I want all of my family there and getting Grandmas and Grandpas to an island is not going to happen and it would break their heart

It all depends. We gave flower seeds since they were earth friendly and inexpensive - they had a personalized cover on them for our day.

We went to a wedding last summer and received the CD with the couple's favorite songs and a beautiful picture of them on the cover. We have listened to that CD over 100 times and it's still one of our all-time favorites.

My kids always remember the songs from it and when they hear them on the radio, they say - Oh, the song from the wedding CD!

I don't expect favors, but this one was the most special. It always brings us back to that fabulous day.

happy2bhere July 24, 2008 9:26 pm | Link

Bride. Being a wedding photographer I see a lot of different things people do. The gifts that I see receive most rave are ones that are practical. People always nod their heads when seeing a donation for a good cause instead of the party favors.

Aga July 25, 2008 2:29 pm | Link

I keep the custom matchbooks with the couple's name and date on them. My brother also had one of the local vinyards supply small wines with a custom label with their names and date on them. I think I still have mine somewhere. Even when emptied it makes a nice decorative piece. I'll see if I cam find where they got them from if you're interested.

Phil D July 26, 2008 12:48 pm | Link

We got married two years ago and didn't see the point in giving people something they were either going to throw away or not really use. We ordered wedding cake cookies with wrappers with our name on them. Therefore, everyone could enjoy their treat and be done with it.

Phil D- That is very kind of you and I love the idea but think that would be over our budget

happy2bhere, I love the cd idea and that has to be pretty cheap to do. I agree with Aga, the practical favors are usually the ones people rave over. I read somewhere that candy "bars" are popular. You have bowls of assorted candies and bags or containers and people scoop what they like into their box. Cute idea.

Bessie July 26, 2008 10:19 pm | Link

I did lottery tickets, everyone liked them. Leave a shiny penny with them too or a coin with your names. And just to add, a few people did win money at my wedding.

I've gotten lottery tickets, didn't win but thought it was a cute idea. Everyone had fun rubbing them off.

Bessie July 26, 2008 10:30 pm | Link

Last year, our god daughter gave out seeds for wedding favors. I put them in a planter. All summer, I thought of her when I looked at the lovely flowers.

I just went to a wedding on friday and we got wildflower seed matts shaped like butterflies with there names on the ribbon holding the directions. I can't wait to plant them with my daughter.

Cherie July 27, 2008 11:16 am | Link

Well if this makes you feel any better Bride...I just went to a wedding last night....

seeing this post is the first time I even thought of "the favor" from last night's wedding....

guess what....no favor ! Obviously, it was not a big deal, and was not missed :)

Save your $$$ Your guests will have a blast w/out it - just celebrating your special day with you :)

excitedandsettled July 27, 2008 10:33 pm | Link

NO!Save your money

We made a donation to charity and left each place setting a note about it.

Two days before the wedding, my sister and I baked 350 chocolate chip cookies, put them in little clear bags (bought at Michaels for about 10 cents each) with pretty ribbon and the recipe attached and a note that it was my grandmothers favorite cookie. Each guest got a bag with 2 cookies inside. It wasn't that bad to make them all either, we made the dough a few weeks before and froze it, borrowed extra cookie sheets ahead of time so that we could do it all assembly line; and we had 3 ovens baking (mine, hers, my moms). Overall I estimate total cost at less than 50 cents per guest.

Between the donation and the cookies, we got lots of good feedback about both!

Enjoy your special day!

HappyHtownMommy July 28, 2008 8:42 am | Link

I gave out little clear vases with a very small bouquet of silk flowers, I filled each one with sand, and then used the fancy cellophane and ribbon to hold everything together, the flowers matched my wedding party's colors. I have been married for 19 years and funny people still have my favors. In my personal opionion, u need a little something for your guests, just dont go crazy. besides it makes the table so pretty. just my own thoughts on the matter.

chrisb July 28, 2008 9:26 am | Link

We gave small crystal ice buckets to each couple. Each had a small wine bottle and some candies inside, and it was wrapped really nicely with cellophane and ribbon. I did receive a lot of great feedback on them, and always see them in use when I visit friends and family. Many people said it was the most useful favor they ever got at a wedding.

It looked expensive, but I actually paid about $7 or $8 each for them, although that is still a little higher than what many want to pay these days for favors.

I wonder what would happen if for the next wedding I went to, instead of giving the usual monetary gift, I donated the amount to charity in the bride and groom's name? Can't imagine that would go over very well. Just a thought.

nope... but i'm just a dumb guy. i know my mom thinks they're really special. my friends who just got married did something cool, they made little hot chocolate mixes in clear plactic wrap shaped like and ice cream cone. with the chocolate powder as the cone and little marshmellows as the ice cream on top. they loved hot chocolate so it was something unique about them... only it doesn't last long, lol. my other friends had customized bottles of white wine for every guest. i bit expensive but i enjoyed it! good luck.

romans July 28, 2008 9:00 pm | Link

Bride, for another suggestion, check today's posts from Kath and me on the "favorite things from the fifties" thread.

What time of the year are you getting married?

kath July 28, 2008 10:19 pm | Link

Joseph: Are you saying to do it out of spite or because you'd want to give to charity? Sounds like you're being petty. It's apples and oranges. You give to a couple marrying. You don't expect anything when you go, except a good time and to be part of their joyous occasion. I can't believe how many people expect tokens back at a wedding. It's one more expense and most people will forget, throw out or love for 30 seconds. There are the exceptions. If you have money to burn for a wedding, be my guest. To me, it starts getting out of hand and all one upmanship. Charity comes from the heart, not out of being vengeful when you might not get a lousy trinket at a wedding.

skoolbored July 28, 2008 10:34 pm | Link

Katherine De - Yeah that would blow the budget... With 150 guest thats $1,200.00!!!!! Not trying to be rude but that is a little out of hand. Thats more then people spend on dress, photographer, DJ

Joseph, there is a huge difference between a wedding gift and a wedding favor. I can't believe that you'd get snarky about not receiving a 2 x 2 photo frame, or a tulle bag of Jordan almonds.

And yes, I have had donations made in my name to a charity, and I was very honored by the gesture I was happy to know that because of someone's generosity, life might be a little better somewhere.

I hate them! I feel obligated to take them, leave them sitting around the house gathering dust. It's not a 4 year old's birthday party and you expect a goodie-bag.

Do us a real favor and skip them!

I beleive wedding favors are only meant to be kept if they are turly meaningful. A tiny frame, or a wine glass isn't meaningful, you know? At my wedding, coming up next summer, we are going to have saplings that people can plant. Wedding favors are a must, but for the love of God, PUT SOME EFFORT INTO THEM! lol

We did CDs that we made ourselves. People (including us) still listen to them so i think it was a good thing to do.

Bryan July 29, 2008 3:15 pm | Link

HTOWN Mama, just to clarify, I gave my favors to each COUPLE not every individual person. So if you have 150 guests, that's roughly 75 couples, so the cost is closer to $600, not $1200. I know it's still more than what a lot of people want to pay, but for me, it was reasonable.